RESOURCES: PARENTING A CHILD FROM A HARD PLACE

As I am constantly trying to analyze and figure out Ben's behavior issues and how to best help him, I came across these interesting articles.  

The 2nd article talks about Reactive Attachment Disorder.  

PLEASE NOTE, Ben has not been diagnosed with this disorder, nor do I think he has this disorder.  Of course, since his adjustment to his new life is a very long processwith lots of ups and downs, there is always the possibility we may have to consider this more seriously down the road...

I do believe though that Ben has some of the tendencies related to RAD.  

So in the 2nd article, I thought there were some very valuable points about how parents and teachers should react/respond to a child who needs to always be in control.

The third article discusses how difficult self-regulation can be for kiddos with traumatic pasts.  A great resource for classroom teachers...

What continues to amaze me with Ben is the fact that him having Down syndrome is probably the least of what we deal with with him.  Most of Ben's issues are a result of being an orphanage for his first 6 years.  

That being said, probably the best information I found regarding kiddos coming from a hard place was this simple saying:

"Sad presents as mad."  

I would do well to remember that as I deal with the many power struggles and acts of defiance from Ben during the day.  What is really going on his mind?  What is he really trying to communicate to us?   

5 Things You Should Know About How Orphanage Life Affects Children

Ways to Deal with Attachment Disorders


Trauma Informed Teachers

RESOURCES: DOWN SYNDROME

I found these great resources that are concise and straight to the point.  I don't have much time to read so short and sweet is best for me!

These might be a nice thing to provide to classroom teachers as they prepare to have your child in their classrooms this fall.

Managing Behavior and Down Syndrome

Behavior Guide for Down Syndrome

Behavorial Issues and Down Syndrome

BAY BEACH!

We took the boys to a great amusement park up in Green Bay.  Rides cost only 25 cents- yes, you did indeed read that correctly!  What a bargain!

The boys had lots of fun, although their expressions were very serious while on most of the rides.   I think they really believed they were flying the airplane or driving the race car, etc.

FISHING!

Andrew and Grandpa were able to take Ben fishing at my brother's pond.  They caught 6 fish!

Don't worry, Jonah will get his chance to go sometime this summer.

As promised, Jonah's fishing photos!

BASEBALL!

Every little kid should get a chance to play baseball, right?  Well, Miracle League Baseball gives all kids of all abilities that chance!  

We can't say enough to the organizers, coaches, buddies, and supporters of Miracle League Baseball in Manitowoc.  

It is so fun to watch the boys play on a team where they can be themselves.  They don't have to try and be typical, they just can be themselves, which I think happens to be pretty cute!

Ben at bat

Jonah at bat

Ben at bat

Jonah at bat

When you play hard, sometimes even a Culvers burger can't keep you awake!

HORSES!

The boys started therapeutic horse riding lessons this summer.  These are the results we are hoping to achieve through this therapy:

1. For both boys, increased core strength
2. For both boys, increased ability to follow directions and control impulsive behavior
3. For Jonah, increased speech and language
4. For Ben, learning to relinquish control and tone down his defiance tendencies

We are hopeful that some of these goals will be met.  However, as we are always reminded with our boys, just because the "experts" say something, doesn't always mean that it will work for our boys.

However, if nothing else, the horse riding lessons are fun for the boys which sometimes the only reason to do something is just that: FOR FUN!

The horse facility is beautiful, and the staff and volunteers are amazing!

Interesting article to read:

Horse Therapy and Down Syndrome

TWO YEARS AGO!

JULY 2016: Cared for but unloved

These photos are from the 1st time we met Ben on 7-10-16

Us peeking in the room for our 1st glimpse of Ben

When we walked in, he ran to us yelling "Mama, Dada".  My first photo with Ben.

Our 1st playtime with Ben.

Ben telling Dad (surprise!) what leaf to hit with the broom

JULY 2018: Very loved for and very cared for!

Part of a family, not just a "groupa" at the orphanage

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY BEN!

Ben's 8th birthday was on 6-21.  We celebrated with a birthday supper with Grandma and Grandpa.  We had steak and mashed potatoes.  Our little orphanage boy has learned to love steak!

The party was Batman themed, just like his 7th birthday party.  These boys LOVE Batman!

Today happens to be the 2nd anniversary of us leaving for Vilnius.  

Ben has been with us for 2 years already.  Lots of adjusting, adapting, and learning for all of us.  

When I look back at photos from 2 years ago, the changes I notice the most about Ben are:

1. Obviously, he's grown.

2. He looks less pale.  Even though the orphanage had the kids play outside a lot, I think they were always bundled up even on warm days.  I know we have to be careful of the sun, but I think a little bit of a "sun-kissed" look is good for kiddos.

3. He looks less scared.  Ben is learning each day to trust and believe in us as his family.

4. Ben eyes look brighter.   I don't think Ben's life in the orphanage was very exciting or stimulating most days.  When I think of all the things Ben gets to do and be part of now, I am just so happy for him.  He deserves these opportunities and adventures.  I am sad he had to wait so long for them, but he is really living life to the fullest now!

Here is Ben 2 years ago on 7-21 when we landed in Chicago.  Contrast this photo to the one below where he is celebrating his birthday.  

SLOW DOWN SUMMER!

Lydia starts working at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store.  Her friend looks sad that she wouldn't be around as much this summer.

Summer school was a huge success!  The boys handled it with very few problems because the school so kindly gave them an aide to help and assist them through all 3 classes.  Ben was reunited with his 5K teacher for the "Cooks and Books" class.

Ben got to celebrate his 8th birthday at summer school.  Doesn't he look perfectly happy?

Miracle League baseball!  Yes, that is Jonah sitting on third base.  This league really knows how to roll with it!

Horse therapy sessions begin!  This is Ben at his 2nd lesson.  Both boys are doing great!

Visit to the Shalom Zoo in West Bend.  Notice how close we are to the brown bear....

VBS was a success!  The boys had 2 brothers who stepped up and helped our boys with all the activities.  It is so precious to see young people "get" our boys.  It's a gift of understanding (and patience) that not everyone has.    

One of Jonah's favorite activities of the summer: eating lunch outside.  What a cool kid to hang out with!

Strawberry picking

My niece Beth got married over Memorial Day weekend.  Isn't she beautiful?

I rarely offer a photo of me willingly, but I actually think this is a pretty cute picture of Andrew and I.  

My sisters (and cousin) having fun!

Our mom joins in for this one!