UPDATE

Our adoption journey is still at a standstill- so much for an update.

However, we are getting closer to the 2-25-16 date so at least the standstill will be coming to an end soon.

My regular 6 month check up with my oncologist is 1-6-16 so at that appointment I will have to discuss an updated letter we need from him regarding my prognosis.  Cathy and Silva are already busy working on the wording for that.

Surprisingly, we still have the little foster baby boy that arrived the end of October!  This has ended up being our longest placement.  This also means it will probably be the hardest to say good-bye even though we will be so joyful when our little friend gets to go to his forever family.  Just the mixture of emotions that is what foster care is all about.

Strangely enough, if we hadn't had this delay in our adoption, we probably would have traveled in January 2016.  Our little foster baby might be staying through the holidays.  I guess God had other plans for us- we were meant to take of this precious baby boy during this time and travel to get Ryan at a later time.  

One never knows where the Lord's path will take you.

EXTRA TIME ON OUR HANDS: HOW ABOUT ANOTHER FOSTER BABY?

Since our adoption process for Ryan is in a holding pattern until February 2016, we have some extra time on our hands because there is no paperwork to keep us busy.  Andrew is laughing- he isn't really feeling the extra time!  He thinks we still seem busy even without paperwork to do. 

On 10-9-15, we said good-bye to Baby M when she went to her forever family.  

Two days ago, we got a call for another foster baby- this time a boy.  That is an unusually quick turn-around.  The past few years, we've had about 6-9 between placements.  

I am set to pick up Baby Zeb (our nickname for him, not his real name) tomorrow.  

Excited but also nervous- it's a big responsibility caring for a little newborn.  I always pray the Lord will watch over these little ones and help them get a good start while they are in our home.

Thank you Lord for keeping me busy- less time to fret about not being able to bring Ryan home as soon as we hoped for.

And as always, praying for continued protection over Ryan- that he would stay happy and healthy in his baby home.

NEED TO SAY THANK YOU!

I can't remember if I have mentioned this before in the blog.  If this is a repeat post, forgive me but if so, it is worth talking about twice!

Earlier this summer, we noticed the funds raised towards Ryan's adoption through Reece's Rainbow had jumped to the amount of $6200.  We were surprised and amazed!

We contacted Michelle at Reece's Rainbow to see if we could get the names of the donors so that we could thank them.  She told us this money was the result of an annual fundraiser that happens in Texas.  This organization holds a benefit concert to raise money for 4 or 5 families adopting through Reece's Rainbow.  We were given the name of the benefit organizer and have sent her an email thank you.  

I don't know when the fundraiser was held exactly, but isn't it amazing how God can work on so many fronts at one time?  Probably the same time we were making a decision to adopt Ryan, the Lord was working in the lives of these people organizing this fundraiser to help provide for Ryan.  What a miracle and testimony to God's provision and care for us.

So thank you God for watching over Ryan and also thank you to the wonderful Texans with generous and loving hearts toward these beautiful children found on Reece's Rainbow.  You are God's angels here on earth!

NOT WHAT WE WANTED TO HEAR...

We wanted to hear a "YES!"

We are grateful we didn't hear a "NO."

What we heard was a "WAIT."

Ryan's government decided they will make us wait until my 5 year cancer mark of 2-25-16 to make our match official.  So any court date will not be applied for until after that date.  That means for now, our dossier is on hold.  Cathy at Open Door is anticipating a summer travel date for us.

In the scope of forever with a family, these 4 months will just be a small blip in our life with Ryan, but right now they feel like eternity.  We are heartbroken that Ryan has to wait even longer for his mom and dad to come for him.

We got the news last Friday.  It wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was still hard to hear.  

I am working through trying to trust in the Lord's timing and providence for this precious little boy.

My anger at cancer came back when I heard the news- just another thing it has affected in my life.  

This isn't the most uplifting post.  I trust with the Lord's help and through prayer, I will get there, but right now I am still just processing through my disappointment and frustration with this setback in the process.

The reassuring news is that the government has promised to keep Ryan in the baby home and not transfer him out.  Praise the Lord for that.  A fellow adoptive mom who visited Ryan's home says it is a nice place with good care.  I will cling to that as we wait these extra months.

God told us to try and adopt Ryan.  That is what we have done.  The door hasn't closed completely on us so we will continue to move forward and WAIT.

WE ARE MATCHED BUT...

Good news today:  Ryan's government said they will match us with Ryan!  

However the bad news is they want more information about my cancer diagnosis in 2011.  Cathy thinks they may be leaning towards making us wait until I am 5 years out from diagnosis (February 2016) instead of proceeding forward right now.  

This is frustrating to me.   Poor Ryan is wanting a family NOW.  I feel like I am putting his well-being into jeopardy.  

Silva is going to meet with the matching committee tomorrow at 3 (in-country time so during the night here) to discuss the matter.

We are praying for wisdom and discernment.

Silva told Cathy that when she visited the orphanage recently, Ryan came up to her and said "Mama?"  She didn't know if he was wondering when it would be his turn for Silva to bring a family.  That absolutely breaks my heart...

Please Dear Lord, let his dream come true!

BABY IN THE HOUSE!

We do interim foster care for Bethany Christian Services.  Placements happen when there is a little baby who needs a place to stay while the birth mom decides whether to parent or adopt.

Two weeks ago, little Baby M came to stay at our house until October 9th when she goes to her forever family.

We just love having a baby in the house even though it does make life a bit hectic!  

Due to confidentiality reasons, we cannot publish a picture of the little sweetheart, but trust us, she is absolutely ADORABLE!

JONAH TURNS FIVE!

Hard to believe that our baby is five years old already! 

Interestingly enough he will still be our baby even after Ryan arrives.  Ryan's birthday is 6-21-10 and Jonah's is 9-14-10.  

We can't wait to have a party for Ryan on his 6th birthday!

BLESSED BY OTHERS

Last night we were able to attend the season opener for an adoption support group at church in Sheboygan.  Friends of ours, who have adopted two children, invited us to the group.  

What a blessing to be able to talk adoption with a group of people who get "it".  Sometimes I feel like our family lives on the planet Mars while some around us are still inhabiting Planet Earth.  People don't always understand why we chose to adopt a baby with Down syndrome when we were almost 40.  People are even less likely to understand why we would adopt a 5 year old with Down syndrome when we are in our mid-40's.  I mean according to the way our culture/society tells us to live in total comfort and ease, we were so close to residing on Easy Street USA, and now we are on the other side of the tracks :).  

So to be in a group that truly believes in God's calling for us to care for the orphan was refreshing and encouraging.  

What a blessing to be blessed by others last night.  Thank you Lord for giving us that support.  

We look forward to the monthly meetings.  Unless they de-invite us because of Jonah- hee, hee.  We had to pull him off the drum set 3x and off the sound system computer 1x.  Our little guy is quite the Curious George...how fitting he was wearing his George shirt last night.

AND NOW WE WAIT...

At this point, our part is done.  This morning the True Copy document came back from our Secretary of State.  I expressed mailed that to Cathy at OD so that she can get it overseas to Silva.  That was the last piece of our dossier.  

So now we have nothing to do except wait...and pray.  Silva is busy translating our documents.  Then they will go to the central authority in Ryan's country, and hopefully we will be matched with him and get a court date.  

But for now, wait. 

Be patient, Ryan- we are working as hard and fast as we can!

GOOD BYE SUMMER

Even though the 3 older kids started school last week, I feel like today, Labor Day, really marks the end of our summer.  We will close up our pool this week, Jonah starts his 3K class on Thursday, and slowly but surely the warm weather will go away.

Don't get me wrong- I love fall, but it is bittersweet that another super fun summer is over and done.

Abigail is a senior this year so lots of changes coming up for her (and us).

Stephen is a sophomore- will be getting his driver's license in early winter.

Lydia is a 7th grader- in the process of saying goodbye to little girl world (i.e. she has her 1st cell phone for pete's sake- what a different world we live in than when I was in 7th grade...)

Jonah, who will be turning 5 next week, will try some time in the 4K classroom.  If it goes well, he will transition to full time 4K hopefully as the year progresses.

Ryan is living across the ocean in an orphanage in Eastern Europe.  Hopefully, he will be in our home sooner rather than later.

Good bye summer and Hello to lots of new things!

ALMOST THERE

This is the section we are now listed under on Reece's Rainbow.  How incredibly amazing is that?!

As I looked over the different section names (Newly Committed, Home Study in Progress, etc.), it was hard to believe how much has happened since Easter 2015 when we decided to pursue the adoption of sweet Ryan.

At times it felt like we would never get here, but now looking back, it wasn't that hard.  I am giggling as I write this.  I said the same thing about childbirth once our little ones were a few months old!

Things we thought we would never do (international adoption), things we thought we would never do again (have another child).  Good thing God knows what is best for us!

PLEASANT SURPRISE!

Our USCIS approval came today!  We only mailed it out on 7-30 and just had our biometrics on 8-26.  I am so excited and relieved to have this piece of the puzzle completed.

This afternoon I express mailed the True Copy letter to our Secretary of State for apostilling.

Another step closer, Ryan...

LINES IN THE SAND

I think most of us have done this- draw an imaginary line in the sand and then tell God I will do this and this but not THAT.

When God began to speak to us about adopting the first time back in 2009, I did draw that line in the sand.  Because of the immense cost and difficult process, I did not want to do an international adoption.  Now I know the Lord didn't direct us down the path of domestic adoption just because that is what I wanted.  It is what the Lord wanted at that time in our life.  Jonah was meant to be part of our family, and the Lord coordinated all the details to make that happen.

However, in the back of my selfish and sinful mind, I still considered international adoption as something I would never do.

Another thing I said I would never do is adopt another child with Down syndrome.  This statement is by no means saying that I think we shouldn't have adopted Jonah.  I know we did the right thing.  But after getting diagnosed with breast cancer when Jonah was only 4 months, I got scared into ever thinking about adopting again.  I realized how full my plate was and how quickly life circumstances can change.  In my mind, however incorrect, I associated adoption with getting cancer.

So imagine my total surprise when this past fall 2014, I felt the Lord asking me to consider international adoption of a child with Down syndrome.  It blew me away.  This is exactly what I told the Lord I couldn't handle!

Although at times during Jonah's adoption we had a few things to stress over, for the most part, his adoption process went very smoothly.  The biggest spiritual challenge we faced during that time was in the very begining when we were trying to determine if it was God's will to adopt a child with special needs.  After we truly felt like this was what God was calling us to do, it was pretty easy to trust Him because everything fell in place so easily.  Very few hiccups.  The hiccups that did occur got resolved within hours or a few days.

Then came my above-mentioned cancer diagnosis.  I felt like I was on top of this incredible mountain-top experience of faith and then plunged to the bottom of a pit I couldn't get out of.   Suddenly all the things I had been so sure of just crumbled at my feet.  I truly felt like we had a made a huge mistake.  It wasn't that I thought Jonah was wrong for us, I felt like we were wrong for Jonah.

When you adopt, you make all these promises about what good parents you will be for the child.  Now here I was with breast cancer.  What if Jonah could have had a better healthier mom instead of me?  What if Jonah ended up without a mom?  Like I said the walls came crashing in on me.  It took a lot of prayer and wrestling with the Lord to get me back on track.  The Lord showed me that even though I was sick, we were still the right family for Jonah.  I learned to trust the Lord in ways I never had to before.

So yes I came out of Jonah's adoption and my breast cancer experience a stronger and more mature Christian.  But did that mean I was willing to erase the lines in the sand?  No, and it never occurred to me that God might ask me to.

Isn't the Christian faith a funny thing?  Even if you can't call it funny, it sure is interesting!

So here we are pursuing the adoption of a 5 year boy in Eastern Europe who has Down syndrome.  I am 4 years out from my cancer diagnosis.  Ryan's country requires you to be 5 years out.  We do not know what the Central Authority will do with our application because of that fact.  We had my oncologist write a letter explaining that he believes my prognosis to good.  However, we just don't know how our application will be viewed.

Now that we jumped through all the paperwork hoops and are waiting for approval, it is becoming more and more real to me that this may not play out in our favor.

Part of me is anxious and scared the adoption will not go through.  This wonderful little boy has captured my mother's heart.  When I am comforting our little Jonah because he has bumped himself or is upset about something, I can't help but think of who is there to comfort Ryan for the same little things.

However, I am also scared and anxious if the adoption does go through.  We hope my cancer doesn't come back, but what if it does?  I do not want to go through that agonizing feeling that we made a mistake by being the wrong family for Ryan.  I told myself I would never put myself through the very experience that I could be setting myself up for.

Why would the Lord ask us to do this?

I don't know why the Lord is asking us to do this.  I am certain there are more qualified and better families out there.  All I know is I truly believe He has asked us to do this- try and adopt Ryan.  Because there is so much out of my control, all I can do is trust in Him.  I can't make things happen one way or the other- both with the adoption and with my cancer prognosis.  This is all God.

Despite my anxieties, part of me is also very excited to see how He will be glorified through this second adoption journey.

And part of me is learning to stop drawing those lines in the sand.

IT IS ALL IN SILVA'S HANDS NOW...

Cathy emailed me on Friday, 8-28 that our dossier made it overseas.  Silva has already started translating our home study because Cathy emailed that to her over a week ago.  She will start working on the rest of our documents on Mon, 8-31.  

We are figuring about a month for this phase...???

BIOMETRICS APPOINTMENT DONE!

We just got home from our biometrics appointment.  The staff at the Department of Homeland Security couldn't have been more helpful and nice.  Appointment went without a hitch.  Hopefully the rest of this process with USCIS goes as smoothly.

One thing about this adoption process, it gives Andrew and I a chance to have some dates- today after our appointment, we had a nice lunch at a British pub we found in Shorewood, a suburb of Milwaukee.
  

ON ITS WAY!

Cathy just emailed me that our dossier will be picked up today in order to be sent overseas to Silva.

She said now its time to WAIT: wait for USCIS approval, wait for Silva's translation, and then wait for a court date to be issued (hopefully).  

The waiting will be hard I am sure, but it is a relief to know we got everything done that was required of us up to this point.  

We went into this process knowing there was an obstacle that might not allow us to be approved for adoption, a.k.a. my breast cancer experience 4 years ago.  However, we truly believe the Lord asked us to at least try.  That is what we are doing.   We have taken the initial steps and are now hoping and praying that the Lord will allow Ryan to be in our family.

Even though there are these unknowns, I feel at peace knowing that we did what God asked of us. 

WE ARE APOSTILLED!- IS THAT EVEN A WORD?

Our documents arrived from the Secretary of State today!  The whole Priority mail tracking thing did not work the way it was suppose to.  The package didn't get scanned in until it was 10 minutes from our home.  Oh well, the most important thing is it got to us!

One of the neatest parts of today was that at 8:30 this morning I messaged some fellow adoptive moms if they could pray for our paperwork.  By 9:30, our package showed up!  That is the power of prayer.  

Tomorrow we will express mail the documents to Cathy at OD so that she can then send them on to Silva for translation. 

We are so grateful to all the people who completed paperwork for us.  We are also very grateful to Cathy and Deb at the adoption agencies for helping us get to this point!

Praise the Lord!

In celebration, tonite Andrew and I had a wonderful date night: a Milwaukee River cruise and dinner out. Great food and great fun with the greatest guy in the world.  

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

I called our Secretary of State office today.  The good news is our paperwork is done (YEAH!).  The bad news is no one knows where it is (ARGGH!)  

That isn't a direct quote, but rather the implied meaning of what the woman said.  The office completed our paperwork on Fri, 8-14 and put it in the mail.  Here we are at Tues, 8-18 and our tracking number for the return package is not being found.  This means the package is somewhere between the Secretary's office and a US postal office between here and Madison.

Probably nothing to be concerned about- the package just maybe didn't get scanned like it should have.  But my mind always goes to the worst case scenario which is that the package is lost in space!

Time to start looking for more funny cartoons, I guess.  And pray!

HUMOR HELPS

As we wait for USCIS and our Secretary of State, we are trying to find the humor in things instead of fretting and worrying and getting upset.  I am amazed at how many cartoons are out there about red tape and paperwork.  Here are some of my favorites:

BIOMETRICS APPOINTMENT SCHEDULED!

Yeah- some progress with USCIS:  We have our biometrics appointment next week on 8-26!

POLITICS AND PAPERWORK

We sent our 28 dossier documents to the WI Secretary of State on 8-6.  I called on 8-14 to check on the status of that paperwork.  The woman told me because I called she would move our paperwork from the stack to be done in 10 days to the stack that will be done in 4 days.  

Our Secretary of State's office just faced a major budget cut, so their services have also been cut.  They use to offer same day service.  Since that is no longer available, we have to rely on the mail-in service.  Through some research, I found out besides the Secretary himself, there is only other full-time employee in the office.  

Knowing all that, its a really good thing that we got moved up from 10 days to 4 days.  

Now just trusting the Lord to work through this less than ideal combination of politics and paperwork!  

In another adoptive family's blog, they called this a paper pregnancy.  That is a great and funny way to describe this process.

HIDDEN TREASURES

Back in early June, another adoptive mom was at the same orphanage as Ryan to bring their beautiful little boy home.  Cathy from OD also visited the orphanage at that same time.  Those two wonderful women took the time to visit with Ryan and take photos of him for us.  Hopefully some day we will be able to share those photos, but we know we can't right now due to confidentiality reasons.  So they are hidden treasures for us at this time.

As we are in the waiting process, those photos have become even more valuable to us than when we first received them.  I just love looking through them during the day as I think about what Ryan is up to.  

I can't wait to have Ryan be part of our life here, but I am so grateful for the hidden treasures I have to look at during this time of waiting.

Maybe when we are over there to get Ryan, we will have the privilege of doing the same favor for another family.  

MORE EXPRESS MAIL

We just express mailed our 28 dossier documents to the WI Secretary of State for apostilling.  The processing time with them is 7-10 days.

One step closer, Ryan!

EXPRESS MAILED!

I800A sent by express mail today.  Should arrive by tomorrow at noon!  Processing time for this part is 6-8 weeks.

WAITING

Patience is not my best virtue.  But in the process of adoption, it is a common occurrence.

Right now we are waiting for our adoption agency to review and approve our home study.  Then we can send off our I800A application which is asking for permission to US Immigration to bring a child into the country.  Once this form is received, US Immigration is taking about 4-6 weeks to process.

We also waiting for final approval on our dossier documents so that we get them authenticated in Madison.  After that, our dossier will be ready to go over to Ryan's country for translation, processing, and hopefully approval.  If approved, we will find out our court date.  It seems most families get a court date within 6 months of the dossier being processed.

Lots of steps to be taken- I just wish they would happen in quick succession instead of so much lag time in between!

However, I am aware of my post from the other day where I talked about appreciating TODAY instead of always focusing on TOMORROW.  So I am trying to savor this moment because we will probably never again have the opportunity to adopt internationally.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience for us.  I have to treat this adoption journey like I how I use to feel as a child the weeks before Christmas.  Anticipation of the big day was almost as enjoyable as the big event itself.

I have the privilege of dreaming about this beautiful little boy being part of our family.  What a blessing to be able to dream so big!

TODAY

When you are in the adoption process, it is easy to become focused on what WILL happen and not always appreciate what IS happening.  

We are so excited for Ryan to be part of our family.  We are so anxious about if this will all work out.

But I need to remember to keep a proper perspective.  Yes I can look forward to Ryan coming home, but I have to remember to enjoy my life right now at this point: 

 

1. The Lord has blessed us with 4 incredible kids, and I am having so much fun having them around this summer.  

2. Our oldest is going to be a senior this coming school year so I really want to treasure the time I have with her before she goes off to college. 

3.  As stressful as the adoption process can be, I have to remember what a privilege it is that we get to do this.  When you have a biological child, you go through 9 months of pregnancy.  With adoption, it is a different experience than pregnancy but filled with just as much wonder and excitement.  If you had told me 10 years ago that we would be adopting, I would have been shocked.  This was never in my life plan.  This is totally God's plan for us.  What a joyful journey to be on.

Thank you Lord that I have great yesterdays to remember, today to enjoy, and tomorrow to look forward to!

APPRECIATE YESTERDAY- good memories, blessings to be thankful for, and lessons learned

AMAZEMENT FOR TODAY- making good memories, experiencing blessings, and learning lessons

AWAIT TOMORROW- future good memories, blessings, and lessons

HOPEFULLY NEXT SUMMER

We had a beautiful and fun time at the beach yesterday with our 2 girls, Abigail and Lydia, and little Jonah (Stephen was up north with friends).  

As I watched Jonah splash in the water and play in the sand, I couldn't help but think that next summer, God-willing, Jonah will have a playmate.  Ryan and Jonah are only 2 months apart in age.    

So in the midst of thanking the Lord for the beautiful time we had at the beach yesterday, I also had the privilege of thanking Him for the opportunity we might have next summer. 

We can't wait little Ryan!
    

A BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!

As of today all of our doctor forms are completed and notarized!  We were then able to start scanning all the documents we have for our dossier to Cathy.  Here was Cathy's email to us at the end of the day:

You have done a great job. Sorry for so many emails back to you today.  I will check the financial statement against the home study when we receive it. I’m waiting for Silva’s input on the application. You have done everything on the dossier checklist that you needed to for now.

What joy those words brought to us!  After months of gathering information (aka bugging people to fill out forms!), we did it!  Thank you Lord!

I am not kidding myself because I am sure something will need to be redone, but for now we are breathing a big sigh of relief!  

Good way to start a weekend!

THE DOSSIER CHECKLIST IS ALMOST COMPLETELY CHECKED OFF!

Could it be?  Yes it could be!  We almost have all our paperwork gathered for the dossier checklist!

The problem is tomorrow is the day that could make or break that statement.  We meet with all 3 of our doctors tomorrow morning to have them complete the forms and have their signatures notarized.

I am busy praying today that the Lord blesses tomorrow and all goes smoothly.  I will be so relieved tomorrow afternoon if all of this goes as planned.  It will make us one step closer to bringing Ryan HOME!

GOD KNOWS OUR NAME

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: 'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."  Isaiah 43:1a  

When we received information on Ryan from Cathy at Open Door, we had the privilege of finding out Ryan's real name.  Ryan is just a screen name that Reece's Rainbow uses.  However, because of the confidentiality we must respect in this adoption process, we cannot share Ryan's actual name.  Us knowing that real name though was another way God used to connect our hearts to this little boy.  

If we have the privilege of adopting Ryan, we would like to honor him and his heritage by keeping his birth name as his middle name.  We are planning on BENJAMIN as his first name.

What a name means has been important to Andrew and I as we chose all of our children's names.  That is why we are so excited about the name we have chosen for Ryan:

Benjamin means "son of my right hand" and Ryan's birth name means "constant".  I think this is a beautiful combination.  The Lord has kept Ryan safe by his side as he waited for a family, and His love for Ryan is constant.  

EASY DOES IT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT

I just did a devotion on Jehosheba, the aunt who hid the young Joash who was next in line for the throne so he would not be killed by the wicked Athaliah (2 Kings 11: 2-3).   The devotion pointed out that not only did Jehosheba have an incredible act of courage when she help Joash escape the initial killing spree by Athaliah, she went on to hide this small child for 6 more years until he was able to be crowned king.  Those 6 years had to be filled with much stress and difficulty trying to keep the boy secret and safe.  After those 6 years though, she was able to see God’s plan when young Joash was crowned king.

This made me think about the fact that just because something is a lot of hard work doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.  I think sometimes I like to make my walk of faith be about the things that come easy to me  like playing piano in church or teaching the young kiddos.  Those are good things to do, but they can’t be the only things I should do in the name of the Lord.  God also calls us sometimes to do things for Him that require much sacrifice and hardship.

Adopting a second child with Down syndrome is not going to make our lives easier or more relaxed.  I know that.  But God really showed us that shouldn’t be our reason (or excuse) to not adopt Ryan.

However, what many people do not realize about individuals with Down syndrome is that there are so many blessings in the midst of the hard work.  When our son Jonah smiles at me, it does something to my heart that I can’t explain.  His love and gusto for life (although sometimes out of control, hee,hee) motivates me to remember to live my life to the fullest and not let inhibitions or worries about what others will think of me stop me.  For this 2nd adoption, I can’t wait to experience the joy God has in store for us with the blessing of little Ryan to our family.

We are not taking the easy path by adopting a 2nd child with Down syndrome.  But we are taking the right path.  Easy doesn’t mean right.  Hard doesn’t mean wrong.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

Today is Ryan’s 5th Birthday.  It is also Father’s Day which Andrew feels honored to share the day with this wonderful little boy.

Whenever one of our kids has a birthday, I am always happy/sad.  I am happy because I am so thankful they are healthy and happy.  I am happy because their birth days were 4 of the best days of my life!  But their birthdays also make me sad because I realize how quickly it is going- our oldest is going to be a senior in high school this fall.  Where did that time go?  I’m not ready for the little birds to leave our nest!

On Ryan’s birthday, I experienced happy/sad feelings also.  Happy because he is a healthy and happy little boy from all the reports I have heard from the orphanage.  But I was sad because he couldn’t be here with his family celebrating his special day.  I want him to experience the joy of having a special cake made just for him and having presents to open.  But most of all, I was sad because he didn’t experience the love of his family surrounding him and hugging him and telling him how much we love him and how happy we are that he was born.  Everyone needs to hear those things on their birthday.  I am praying that Ryan’s next birthday will be so very different for him…and us.

Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Ryan!

SOME DAY I WILL LAUGH (RIGHT?...)

We had our home visit yesterday for our home study.  Deb from Special Children, Inc. is an incredibly friendly and encouraging woman.  We had a very nice visit  plus Deb gave us much needed guidance and direction for preparing the dossier paperwork.

We need forms filled out by our doctors for the dossier.  However the difficult thing is the forms need to be notarized.  Most of our doctors’ offices do not have a notaries.  This means we will have to bring a notary to the offices and then request the various doctors to sign the forms in the presence of a notary.   Things are further complicated because we have doctors in Sheboygan, Plymouth, and West Bend.  I confess to you this seems like a logistical nightmare!  I don’t know how I am going to coordinate all this much less get the cooperation of the doctors.  Not knowing there were specific forms for the dossier, I had already had some of our doctors fill out the medical form provided by Special Children Inc. so now I have to go back and ask them to redo.

During my quiet time this morning, I prayed to God for a miracle in helping these forms get completed correctly.  I am not a very assertive person, and I think I will have to be a bit demanding to get everyone on the same page for this task.  I definitely will need God’s wisdom and timing to make this work.

Someday I will laugh (right?…) when I think how the success of this adoption could hinge on us completing all the paperwork correctly!

THE CHILD WE HAVEN'T MET...YET

Today is Mother’s Day.  I feel so blessed on this day because first of all I am able to celebrate a wonderful relationship with my mother.  My mom is a great Christian woman who has always shown incredible love and support to me throughout my life, even during those times when I wasn’t deserving of it (teenage years, hee hee).

I also feel incredibly blessed on Mother’s Day because the Lord has given my husband and I four beautiful children.  The joy and happiness that these kiddos have brought to my life is just amazing.

When I was in first grade, we had to write what we wanted to be when we grew up.  I listed things like working in a shoe store or food store.  But then I wrote that what I wanted most of all was to be a mother.  I have that picture framed up in our bedroom because it reminds me every day of how the Lord answered that prayer.  I love being a mom.  Its the best (and hardest) job I have had.  The hours are long, the work is unending, but the benefits are out of this world!

As we are in the beginning stages of adoption, I am aware that perhaps by next Mother’s Day, we may have another child in our family.  Even though I have only seen photos of Ryan, I feel a mother’s tug of heart towards him already.

Of course, I remember already feeling madly in love with our three biological children during their pregnancies.  I hadn’t met them, but they had already stole my heart.  Then in our experience of adopting Jonah, we had the privilege of being involved in his birth mom’s last month of prenatal care as well as being present at his birth.  This was an amazing experience and the start of our bonding with Jonah even before he was born.

Now we are experiencing a different type of adoption experience.  It will be a long distance relationship via the internet until we are able to travel.  And yet, God in His amazing way, has allowed me to love a child we haven’t even met…yet.  We are so praying that we are able to be the family for Ryan.  Happy Mother’s Day Ryan- you are in our thoughts and prayers on this very special day.

WHY?

I suspect we will be asked this question by many people as we start to tell what is happening in our family.  There are many answers to that question ranging from we feel God is calling us to do this, to we fell in love with Ryan and want him to be part of our family.  But there is also another reason God showed us:

The future for children like Ryan is that even if they are good orphanages, which are still not a substitute in any way for a family, eventually they will age-out of the orphanage system.  The next home for them will be a mental institution.  One of the reasons we want to adopt Ryan is to give him a future with a family who loves him.  We also long for him to have a place to call home that is not an institution.  My hearts breaks for the many children who do not get that chance.

We all have a responsibility, in some way, to give the kiddos we know about today a chance at a family.

During one of my quiet times this week, I read the passage in John 5:1-14 where Jesus healed the disabled man by the pool by saying, “Pick up your mat and walk.”  God pointing out something that I had never thought about before in that passage.  This disabled man had been this way for 38 years.  When Jesus asked him in the beginning of the story if he wanted to be well, he answered that he had been trying to get to the pool on his own because no one was there to help him.  God really highlighted that part to me: for 38 years, no one had offered to help this poor soul get to the pool to be healed?  Where were his family and friends?  Where were kind-hearted people willing to help?  Where was the love that God calls us to show others, especially those less fortunate than us?

The Lord showed me that I need to make sure I am looking out for hurting people and then doing something to help them.  Some people may have been waiting for years for someone to come along side them.  I can’t make them wait any longer.   God is calling me to help.

That is one of the reasons we are trying to adopt Ryan.  I don’t want Ryan to have to wait any longer for the love of a family.  We are coming as soon as we can, sweet boy!

The following song by Matthew West was inspiring to us- we hope it is to you also!

JONAH'S JOURNEY

the story of how God brought our son to our family

I don’t think Ryan’s story is complete without telling the story of Jonah:

GOD GIVES US AN IDEA…Jonah’s story begins with a foster baby we had in June 2009 who had Down syndrome.  Our time with precious little Baby M lead us to start thinking about adopting a baby with Down syndrome.  We realized Down syndrome was a condition we felt comfortable with and had some knowledge about.  We were also made aware of the tremendous amount of resources such as early intervention therapies that are available to a child with Down syndrome.

GOD GIVES US GUIDANCE…After much prayer, we contacted Bethany Christian Services and let them know we would be interested in adopting a baby with Down syndrome.  We thought there was a good chance we may be traveling out of state for this baby.  Little did we know our baby would end being 20 minutes from our house!  God was truly working in the lives of the birth mother and our family!

GOD SETS THINGS IN MOTION…The birth mom contacted Bethany Christian Services in late spring of 2010 after finding out the baby boy she was carrying had Down syndrome.  She was very worried there would not be a family willing to adopt her baby because of his special needs.  After looking at our adoption profile, the birth mom wanted to meet with us.  This meeting happened in early August 2010.

GOD MAKES THINGS HAPPEN…At that meeting, the birth mom told us she had chosen us as the forever family for her baby boy!  We spent the rest of August 2010 getting ready for a new baby in our family!

GOD BLESSES US…Then on a beautiful day in September 2010, we welcomed little Jonah into this world.  What an experience.  Happy Birth Day Jonah!

GOD WATCHES OVER ALL OF US…Jonah spent a few days in the hospital with his birth mother.  Then on his discharge day, we drove him to a foster home where he would stay until the Termination of Parental Rights hearing that would happen a few weeks later.

GOD COMFORTS US AS WE WAIT…All we could do during those few weeks of waiting was pray:  pray that God’s will would be done in our lives, the lives of the birth parents, and most of all the life of precious Jonah.  As a family, we prayed the words of Psalm 16:5-6:

 “Lord, you have assigned [Jonah] his portion and his cup; You have

made [Jonah’s] lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for [Jonah]

in pleasant places, surely [Jonah] has a delightful inheritance.”

It was our hearts’ desire that our home would be Jonah’s “pleasant place”.

GOD CELEBRATES WITH US…Finally the hearing day arrived!  We got the news on our way to the foster home.  The birth parents terminated their rights.  Jonah was part of our family!

GOD CONTINUES TO WORK…During Jonah’s first four years, the Lord has blessed us with healing from some serious health issues for Jonah and Mary.  He has helped our family bond and grow closer than we ever imagined when we first pondered adoption.  The Lord has also blessed us with a beautiful relationship with Jonah’s birth family through our open adoption.  Finally, Jonah continues to amaze us and his teachers with his incredible success at school…the sky is the limit for our little guy!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declare the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11.

OUR ADOPTION TIMELINE

This is the beautiful little boy we are hoping and praying will soon be part of our family!  Here is what has happened so far on our journey:

Fall 2014  The Lord starts really working on our hearts about adopting another child with Down syndrome.

February 2015  We inquire to Reece’s Rainbow about Ryan.  We are referred to Open Door Adoption Agency.

March 2015  Cathy at Open Door provides us with updated pictures of Ryan.  We begin to fall more in love!

Easter 2015 We decide to adopt Ryan.

April 2015  Application submitted (and approved!) to Open Door as placing agency, application submitted to Special Children, Inc. as home study agency.

May 6, 2015 We begin completing and sending in our paperwork for home study.  This is truly a labor of love and paperwork!

May 22, 2015 First home visit by Debra at Special Children Inc.

June 2015 We start on dossier paperwork and I800A form

June 5, 2015 2nd home study appointment at Deb’s office

June 25, 2015 Passports arrive!

July 1, 2015   Andrew’s doctor appointment today- last of the 6.  God willing, we can get forms notarized 7-8-15 and call this part done!

July 8, 2015  All 6 doctor forms are completed and notarized!  Just got email from Cathy with final attachments for dossier documents: application to Ryan's country and passport affidavits.  Cathy wants these done ASAP so we can send dossier to Silva for translating.

July 10, 2015 Dossier documents sent to Cathy for review.

July 14, 2015 1st Draft of Home Study complete- we have reviewed and are waiting for Cathy at OD to review.  I800A is ready to go when we get the final copy of study. 

July 23, 2015 Good news: our home study is ready to go! Once all the pieces come to us from OD and our home study agency, we can get the I800A in the mail! Yeah!

July 30, 2015 I800A mailed out today.  Should arrive by noon tomorrow!  Processing time is 6-8 weeks.

August 6, 2015 28 documents sent to WI Secretary of State for apostilling.  Should arrive to them by tomorrow morning.  Processing time is 7-10 days.

August 14, 2015 Home study emailed to Silva in country so that she begin translating.  Still waiting on Immigration and WI Secretary of State. 

August 17, 2015  Biometrics appointment scheduled for 8-26!

August 20, 2015   Documents are back from Secretary of State and now on their way to OD in Thomasville, GA.  Next stop: overseas for translation by Silva.

August 24, 2015 Dossier on its way overseas to Silva.

August 26, 2015 Biometrics appointment done!

August 30, 2015 Silva has dossier.  Translation begins tomorrow.

August 31, 2015 USCIS approval arrives in mail!

September 14, 2015 USCIS approval on its way overseas.

October 6, 2015  We got the news that government will match us with Ryan, but nothing can be processed until my 5 year mark for cancer which is 2-25-16.  So instead of traveling in Feb 2016 like we hoped, we probably wouldn't travel until summer 2016.  Disappointed...

TIME OF WAITING OCT 2015 thru FEBRUARY 2016


March 17, 2016  Dossier should be going before government agency for reconsideration sometime in the next 30 days...hopefully sooner!

April 7, 2016  Matching process is beginning.  We are approved!

April 14, 2016 Our acceptance of referral has been delivered to authorities.  

April 21, 2016 I800 overnited to USCIS in Texas

May 14, 2016 RFE received.  Major mistake on our part!  Because Abigail is almost 18, we should have updated our home study and had biometric fingerprints done on her.  This all could have been done back this winter when we were waiting on my 5 year mark.  Now things will be delayed as we scramble to get all this done.  Shucks!

June 6, 2016 Biometrics appointment for Abigail is scheduled for next week, 6-15.  Yeah!

June 15, 2016 Abigail's biometrics done.

June 20, 2016 I800 approved!  Emailed to Cathy, Silva, and Reda.

June 21, 2016 Online Visa application for Benjamin completed.

June 29, 2016 Court date is 7-15!!! We leave 7-8!!!! 

July 9th  We arrive in Vilnius in the afternoon and meet Ben for the very first time!

July 10th  Our major day of sightseeing in Vilnius.  So much fun!

July 9-14th Daily visits with Ben at the orphanage, 9-12 am and then again 4-6.  Also some appointments like immigration medical exam for Ben, passport office, bank, etc.  Busy!

July 15 COURT HEARING at 1 p.m.  Judge announced at the end of hearing, she would have her decision in 1 hour!!!! Everyone was shocked.  We were prepared to have to wait until Monday since our hearing was on a Friday afternoon.  This quick decision allowed Reda to be able to start the going home paperwork already on Saturday which would speed things up for next week.  What a blessing from the Lord.  But even more important than the speediness was the decision that was declared at 3 p.m that day- Benjamin Kostas Lavey was officially our son!  We went right to the orphanage at 3:30, woke him up from his nap and gave him the good news through many cuddles and tears!  What an unbelievable and unforgettable day!  Then we packed up his things, and Ben came to live with us at the apartment.  

July 15-20th  Sightseeing and running errands with Ben as we prepare to leave for home.  

July 21st  Heading home!  We fly out out Vilnius at 6 a.m. and are home in Cedar Grove by 8 p.m. that night.  We got to leave 4 days ahead of schedule!