WHAT TO DO!

 Our school district just announced yesterday they are planning 5 days/wk in-person for the fall.  Masks will be used when social distancing can’t happen.  The school is also offering a virtual option.

Now as parents we must decide what works best and is safest for our kiddos.

Not an easy decision, but I’m grateful we have options.

Now the thinking begins...and lots of prayers for wisdom and discernment.

WHEN YOU KEEP BEGGING

The boys have been relentlessly begging Stephen to make another movie.

Another Oscar-worthy production results!

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

As a parent of two children with special needs, one of my biggest concerns is about their salvation.  

We talk and teach the boys about God's plan of salvation and what it means to accept Jesus as their Savior.  But with their cognitive delays, I wonder if they will ever totally understand these concepts.

I think any Christian parent struggles with worrying about where their child is at with their faith and hoping and praying they will come into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.  As parents, we want to know our child is assured of spending eternity in heaven someday.

The added layer with being a parent to a child with cognitive delays is not knowing if that child will ever be able to make that decision with full understanding.

In my quest for answers, I have come across these resources that really being peace to my mind and soul about this issue.

1. Pgs. 149-151 from The Heaven Answer Book by Billy Graham

"Does God allow people into Heaven who are mentally handicapped and don’t fully understand He loves them and accepts them just as they are? God has the pulse of eternal life in His hand, and He knows the limitations of each of us. None of us are saved because we understand everything there is to know about the heavenly Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Salvation comes based on confessing sin and receiving God’s gift of grace. Babies, young children, and the mentally handicapped cannot comprehend their limitations or the truths of God’s plan of salvation—but God, in His grace, receives each of them just as they are and changes their hearts. A tender passage in Scripture is when the little children gathered around Jesus. They didn’t have any profound understanding of who He was or why He came, yet He welcomed them and told His disciples, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14). God has much to teach us through infants and children with special needs. They are completely dependent on others; they must trust their caregivers for everything. There is a lesson for us when Jesus says that we must become as little children. He meant we must place our complete trust in Him, giving up our desires for His, and allow Him to direct our every step. Scripture sheds light on this difficult subject. Solomon says that a stillborn child is better off than one who disregards his own life (Ecclesiastes 6:3 nkjv), and Job cursed the day he was born and said, “Why did I not perish at birth? . . . For now I would be lying down in peace; I would be asleep and at rest” (Job 3:11, 13). If you have babies and handicapped children who have been taken from you by death, receive comfort in the sovereignty of the God of love. Commit to teaching others, who do have the capacity to understand the gospel, that God stands ready to cover our sin with His mercy and grace. Do not weep for those in His care, but for those who have not yet found that place of safety in the Savior’s comforting love."

Click HERE to view/purchase this book

2. "How Should Christian Parents Respond to Having a Child with Down Syndrome?

The whole article is very good, but here is one excerpt that was particularly interesting to me:

"If God has entrusted Christian parents with a child who has any kind of disability, those parents can be assured that God has a purpose for them to bring glory to Him by their loving response—and God will provide the grace necessary to provide the proper response."

3. "Where Do I Find the Age of Accountability in the Bible?

Again the entire article is worth reading, but I liked this particular excerpt:

"It is our position that God applies Christ’s payment for sin to babies and those who are mentally handicapped, since they are not mentally capable of understanding their sinful state and their need for the Savior, but again we cannot be dogmatic. Of this we are certain: God is loving, holy, merciful, just, and gracious. Whatever God does is always right and good, and He loves children even more than we do."

Great resources and some comforting thoughts for this mother's heart.

However the bottom line is two-fold:

1. I still am responsible to speak and teach God's truth to my boys and pray for whatever level of understanding is possible for them.

2. I need to entrust my boys and their hearts and souls to the Lord.  He has watched over them in the womb and provided them with a family. He loves them and cares for them, and He wants what is best for them.  

OUR MAIDEN VOYAGE!

Last night we took the boys camping in our new popup camper at an actual campground.

In the past, the boys have "camped" in the tent in our backyard and recently in the popup in our driveway.

But last night we tried taking them to a campground.  Granted it was only 10 minutes from our house, but you got to start somewhere, right?

And our first night was quite epic- it down poured rain from 5 p.m. to bedtime!

Good news is that

1. Our popup doesn't leak

2. Our hotdog meal over the campfire could easily transition to boiling hotdogs over the stove inside the camper

3. Our boys are pretty much happy and excited no matter what or where they are.  So they had a blast playing "Go Fish" and "Crazy Eights" and just hanging out and listening to the storm.

4. When we woke up this morning, it was a beautiful day so we got to take a hike.  We are so fortunate to have this state park right so close to us!

Tonight we are trying a different campground.  No rain is expected so hopefully we can do some hiking yet today and then have a campfire tonight.

I'm sure no matter what we end up doing, our boys will find the fun in it!  That is one of their life gifts, I think.

 Oh oh- what’s missing?  Where’s our camper?

Ok, funny story. We ended up not camping our 2nd night.  One of our older kids had a broken down car that we had to deal with so we decided to take camping off our docket.  With a late start, we were thinking it would too late to set up the camper at the campground. However, we did visit our campsite and have a DQ picnic and campfire.

  

The boys impressed us by rolling with all our changes to our plans today.  

It was a fun adventure even though a bit modified.

"GOTCHA" DAY FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY

On July 15th, 2016 it became official.  

The Lithuanian judge approved our adoption of Benjamin Kostas!

Four years.  

So many changes.  So many adjustments for all of us.  Some hard times.  Some great times.  

And then those moments that are ordinary but so precious at the same time.

Doing life with Ben is an adventure.  We are still learning things about him.  

He is still learning about us.  

But we are forever grateful the Lord told us to go and get this little Lithuanian treasure!

JULY 15, 2016

We woke Ben up from his afternoon nap to tell him he was our officially our son!

Packing up his belonging from 

his first 6 years- pretty humbling.

Driving away from the orphanage.  

No longer an orphan!

His first night with us.  I think I was up most the night watching him and listening for him.  

I was so relieved he was safe and no longer faced the threat of going to the mental institution.

HOW MUCH IS THAT "FROGGIE" IN THE WINDOW?

 Last night we discovered a frog on our window.  

This frog was way up on 

the arched window shown below.

  

I did not know frogs could jump that HIGH!

I also do not know why the frog 

would want to be up so high on this window.  

What was his game plan?

I'm guessing he got a little 

mixed up in his jumping directions...

After about 10 minutes he leaped off and went somewhere more practical for a frog I'm hoping.

Possible life lesson from this:

Sometimes we don't always end up where we planned to be in life so just keep holding on- 

things will get better soon.  

CAN'T FORGET JONAH!

Because this blog was created to document our adoption journey with Ben, Jonah's story is not talked about as much here.  So I decided to share two of our big moments with our Jonah.

We adopted Jonah as a newborn.  

VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE 

than adopting Ben as a 6 year old.

Think of a blank piece of paper versus one that is filled with scribbles and notes.

Both of our adoptions were adventures, but very unique in their own ways.

However, one way the adoptions were the same, is Jonah is also a person in our lives who has changed us dramatically!  Our lives have never been the same since the moment that little bundle arrived in this world.  

Yes, our lives are more complicated and more work.  Our future as parents and the future of our older kids has been altered.  We are sometimes sad or discouraged when the boys face challenges or obstacles that typical developing kiddos don't have to deal with.  We worry what the future holds for the boys- will they have jobs, where will they live, will they have a social life, etc.

But we also have more love, joy, patience, celebration, amazement, personal growth, better life perspective/priority, and FUN than we could have ever imagined!  

We met Jonah on his birth day.  In fact, I was in the room when he was born.  What a privilege!

Jonah came home to us when he was 3 weeks old.  He spent his first weeks in a foster home through our adoption agency.

JONAH'S "METCHA" DAY: SEPTEMBER 14, 2010

JONAH'S "GOTCHA" DAY:

OCTOBER 12, 2010

Our first family picture with all 6 of us!  Getting ready to leave the foster home.

Don't we (all) look so young?

Our first night home with Jonah.  

He had quite the fan club!

NOW

Jonah at 9 years old.  

This summer he started loving pickles!

We love this little boy so much!  We are so proud of him and all his hard work and determination.  He is one neat little fellow!

"METCHA DAY" FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Sometimes you meet a person 

who will change your life forever...

We met one of those people 

four years ago on July 9, 2016.

THEN: July 9, 2016

Our first look at Ben through the window

Our first hug after he ran 

up to us saying "Mama, Dada"

First time playing with Dad

He looks so little!

NOW: July 9, 2020

So proud of this boy and all he's accomplished and adjusted to since that day in 2016!

We are so blessed by Ben!

FROM SCHOOL DAYS TO POOL DAYS!

From spending all morning doing school and then either being stuck inside to play or bundled up in order to play outside in the cold and snow to this:

We love summer!

THIS SHOULD WIN AN OSCAR!

The boys really love making movies with their older brother Stephen.  

Here is their version of Star Wars!