STILL LEARNING TO BE SOCIAL

 

In preparation for Ben's IEP in November, I typed up this summary of Ben's social skills according to our observations.  I'm anxious to hear school's input on this.

BEN'S SOCIALIZING/MAKING CONVERSATION

 Issues:

1.      Wrong Answer- Doesn't answer questions appropriately or correctly,  ie. "Cow", "Mom", or just babbles.

2.      Delegate- Tries to get Jonah (or someone else) to answer instead.

3.      Whispers answer or answers into his armpit.

4.      Lack of eye contact.

5.      Not Understood- Talks too fast or has trouble with pronunciation.

6.      Shuts down- doesn't make any response.

 

Why we think this happens:

1.      Speech issues- Ben needs to continue learning proper pronunciation and proper speed of speech.

2.      Social Anxiety-  Ben experienced lack of socialization for his 1st 6  years in the orphanage so Ben doesn't feel comfortable or know  how to interact with people appropriately.  His orphanage years I'm  sure play a role, but we are hoping with each additional year Ben      has with us, this becomes less and less of an issue for him.  However, perhaps we shouldn't underestimate how much not having the basic communication foundations for those highly impactful first years is limiting him even now after being with us  5 years…

 NOTE: in our adoption/trauma education we had to take for           the adoption process, we learned that orphanage behaviors can        fade/drop off after the child is home with family for a longer time      than he was in the orphanage.  We are at year 5 1/2 so we are    almost at the half-way mark!

3.      Control- due to Ben's "hard past" of being in orphanage for 6 years, control is always his go-to emotion/goal.  Ben had to look out for himself for 6 years to make sure he survived and got the limited care and attention that was available to him at the orphanage.  So  everything Ben does, unless you can capture him at a moment   where he lets his guard down, Ben wants to control the situation.  It doesn't matter to him if having this control gets him positive or       negative attention, he just wants to be the one to determine what   he will do, how he will do it, and how others should respond/react   to him.  This means if Ben chooses to engage someone in        conversation, you will see a very different style of communication   than when someone else initiates conversation with Ben.  This is        when the issues 1-6 come into play.

4.      Jealousy- This is probably a subset of Control, but I believe Ben has social issues often because he is jealous of others getting attention.  By others, I particularly mean Jonah.  I will often see better social   skills from Ben when he is alone versus when the 2 boys are together.  Again, even if Ben acting inappropriately gets him in trouble, he considers this a win because he probably got more attention, all be it negative, than Jonah during or as a result of the social interaction.

 What we are currently trying to do to help Ben:

1.      Speech therapy at school and thru Rehab Resources.

2.      At home, we go over these Conversation Rules:

                   a. Listen to the question

                   b. Think about your answer.

                   c. Answer the truth.

                   d. Make eye contact.

                   f. Speak clearly

3.      Use of the speech device to assist him in being able to be   understood by those outside his inner circle.

4.      Building upon and encouraging Ben's amazing strengths   

                   a. Ben is very smart.

                   b. Ben has a fun personality.

                   c. Ben is hard-working and determined.

                   d. Ben has good command of the English language despite only learning it starting it at age 6.

                   e. Ben is resilient.  He is tough and strong.  He is a survivor.

                   f.  Ben's potential to do incredible things with his life.

 Possible Action Steps:

1.      Do you agree with all of this information from your experience with Ben at school and/or therapy?  Or is this something that we just  experience at home and social situations besides school?

2.      Are there specific goals/tasks that should be included in his IEP to help Ben in the social area?

3.      Any other help/resources that may be available to Ben to help him improve socially?

4.      Any help/suggestions for Andrew and I as we try to work on these issues at home?

SCHOOL SCHEDULE

 

Since this blog is my digital memory book, I want to record the boys’ school schedule for the past 2 years as a result of the pandemic.

3rd grade, 2019-2020: Starting mid March 2020, school closed because of Covid 19.  We all thought this would only be for 2-4 weeks, but it ended up school was closed for the remainder of the school year.  I homeschooled the boys from mid March to June.  There was some virtual schooling for them, but mostly it was me.  

4th grade, 2020-2021:

1. Plan was for both boys to attend mornings only in the special Ed room only as a way to limit any exposure to Covid 19.  

2. Because Jonah got sick the end of August, only Ben started school in the beginning of the year.  He went in the mornings only, only in the special Ed room.

3. In the afternoon, I would do school at home with the boys using materials provided by their special Ed teacher.

4. By the last week in September, Jonah had recovered from his 9-4 surgery and was ready to try in person school.  He joined Ben, in the mornings only, only in the special Ed room.  

5. The end of September we were informed our boys were direct contacts to a Covid case at school.  This lead to a 14 day quarantine at home.  During quarantine, the boys did virtual school in the morning, and I continued to work with them in the afternoon.

6. During this time, Jonah started to feel sick- lots of pain and discomfort. This was the start of frequent infections as a result of the catheter/stent.  However, it wasn’t until early November that the doctor decided to put him on a daily antibiotic to help prevent the infections.  So October was a very rough month for Jonah.

7. After the scare of the direct exposure as well as Jonah feeling sick, we decided to keep the boys virtual and not go back to in person school.  We would re-evaluate after Jonah’s 12-17 surgery to replace or remove stent/catheter.

8. Mid December- Andrew, Stephen, and myself got Covid.  This meant the 12-17 surgery had to be postponed until 2-11-21.  We decided to keep boys virtual until Jonah’s surgery since we wanted to do all we could to not have to delay it again.

9. After the holidays, school had no Covid cases for all of January.  We decided since Jonah was feeling much better since being on the daily antibiotic, we would try in person school in the mornings again, only in the special Ed room.  I would continue to do school in the afternoon with them.  This was early February.  We also were less concerned about Covid for the boys because they were around 3 of us having it in December and didn’t get it themselves.

10. We even started full day Tuesdays for both boys.  I would get Jonah over lunch to do his catheter care.

11. After Jonah’s 2-11 surgery where stent was removed (yeah!- but catheter had to be replaced, not removed)- we decided to put the boys in school from 8:45-3:15 everyday, in the special Ed room room only.  School was amazing and agreed to do the catheter care for Jonah so I no longer had to come and get him at lunch. 

We are so grateful for all the help and support school has shown us as a result of our concerns about Covid and Jonah’s health concerns.  Their school team is incredible!

Next year is middle school for the boys- mostly a whole new team for them.  This will be a hard transition for all of us.  I am going to miss the wonderful teachers and staff at the elementary school.  Our boys have really blossomed because of all their hard work with them!

PREPARING FOR EASTER

 As we have in other years, we are preparing for Easter as a family by using the Resurrection Eggs.  

If you don't have these for your family, I highly recommend them!  They are a very good way for children to learn the story of Easter.  

Amazon link to Resurrection-Eggs

For me personally preparing for Easter, I'm not doing a specific Lenten devotion.  But I have had some devotions lately that have really focused on God's love and mercy being shown to us because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  

During Lent this year, I really want to focus on this amazing gift of love.  

I am a sinner SAVED BY GRACE, not by who I am or what I have done, but by WHO JESUS IS AND WHAT HE HAS DONE!

I thought this song really captured that thought:

YouTube link to "Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me"

LYRICS:

Yet Not I but Through Christ in Me

CityAlight

What gift of grace is Jesus my redeemer

There is no more for heaven now to give

He is my joy, my righteousness, and freedom

My steadfast love, my deep and boundless peace

To this I hold, my hope is only Jesus

For my life is wholly bound to His

Oh how strange and divine, I can sing: all is mine

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

The night is dark but I am not forsaken

For by my side, the Saviour He will stay

I labour on in weakness and rejoicing

For in my need, His power is displayed

To this I hold, my Shepherd will defend me

Through the deepest valley He will lead

Oh the night has been won, and I shall overcome

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

No fate I dread, I know I am forgiven

The future sure, the price it has been paid

For Jesus bled and suffered for my pardon

And He was raised to overthrow the grave

To this I hold, my sin has been defeated

Jesus now and ever is my plea

Oh the chains are released, I can sing: I am free

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

With every breath I long to follow Jesus

For He has said that He will bring me home

And day by day I know He will renew me

Until I stand with joy before the throne

To this I hold, my hope is only Jesus

All the glory evermore to Him

When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

To this I hold, my hope is only Jesus

All the glory evermore to Him

When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

THIS IS SORT OF HOW I FEEL

 

Due to COVID, since mid March 2020, both of the boys have been home with me every day all day.  

In September 2020, I had a small break for 3 weeks when Ben attended school in the mornings so I only had Jonah home as he recovered from his kidney/bladder surgery.

  

Then the last week of September, both boys attended school in the mornings.  However, they had a direct exposure at school causing them to be in quarantine for 14 days and then that precipitated us deciding to keep them both home full-time starting in October 2020.  

SO.....

Today is the first day I have to myself since March 2020!!!!!

The boys are going to be going to school all day on Tuesdays.  Jonah will come home at lunch for me to do catheter care, but then he will go back to finish the day.  The other days of the week, they will just be in school for the mornings.  But today is a full day to myself!  8:45-3:15.

I love the boys dearly.  I really enjoy doing school with them at home.  And I think the three of us (especially Ben and I) have really bonded over these past 10 months of togetherness.  Overall, it's been a great experience these past 10 months despite the difficulty of the pandemic.

But I am a bit excited to get some things done off my to-do list that have been put on hold for almost the past year because I've just been too occupied by boys to do them.  I'm excited to just do nothing for a few minutes today and RELAX! I'm excited to have a quiet house for a while today.  I'm excited to not multi-task for a few hours today and be able to concentrate on ONE thing only!  And it will be a relief to schedule appointments or run errands during these times on Tuesday and not have to ask older kids for help watching the boys.  

Last week was suppose to be my first free Tuesday, but we had a snowstorm.  

But today, nothing stopped the plan. The boys are at school, and I am free for a few hours!

I hope I don't come off sounding selfish.  

And for all I know, the boys will probably enjoy the break from me :)

So time to get stuff done- or nothing done.  Whatever, for a few hours today, the choice is mine!

FUN!!!!

ICE FISHING FUN and AN UPDATE

It's that time of the year again!  Andrew loves to take the boys ice fishing (one at a time) on my brother's pond.  The boys can catch 20-30 fish in about an hour so it's great fun for them.

As far as an update, January has felt like catch up time after the hectic December we had due to our  COVID experience.

Hopefully February will feel like we are more back into our normal groove.  That's my hope!

In regards to the boys' school, we decided to put them back in school for mornings only after the new year.  Additionally, we have now decided they will attend for the full day on Tuesdays.  Just a few baby steps towards more of a regular school experience for them.

We also are setting Ben up to have speech therapy outside of his school speech therapy.  Jonah has been receiving this extra speech for the past few years, but we hadn't pursued it for Ben yet.  However, now that we realize what a command he has of the English language after only being here 4 1/2 years, we think it's time to up the ante on how he pronounces his words.  He has soooo much to say (and command ☺), but he is not always easily understood by people outside of  his immediate core group.  Hopefully with this added speech therapy, his pronunciation will become more clear and understandable.  We are excited for Ben!

One thing I am not looking forward to for the boys or for me is their wonderful special ed teacher will be going on maternity leave in March.  The boys will miss her, and Ben, in particular, will take a bit to warm up to her substitute teacher.  However, to make things harder and sadder, this is their last year with this teacher because next year the boys are in MIDDLE SCHOOL!  Can you believe that?  We are going to miss their dear "honey" soooo much.  The boys pronounce her last name as "honey"- isn't that sweet?   We owe soooo much of their success to her hardwork and dedication to our two goofballs!

 

SO STINKIN' CUTE!

    

What else can I say?  

The photos speak for themselves!

Ben, 10 years old, 4th grade

Jonah, 10 years old, 4th grade

 

SOME GREAT RESOURCES

Hard to believe I've been "homeschooling" the boys since March 2020!

Something I thought I would never do.  Not because I don't agree with homeschooling.  I do think it can be a very valuable and worthwhile experience.  We home schooled our 3 older kids during their middle school years, and we loved it.  However, with the boys both having special needs, I just figured home schooling them would be way above my pay grade.  And not beneficial to them because school offers them access to so much specialized and adaptive learning.

Well, COVID had different ideas than me so that is why the boys are home with me.

So over the past months, I have found some really cool resources that have helped us in our home school experience.

1. The following math manipulative is incredible!  I think it really has helped the boys learn the concept of counting on when doing addition.  

Click HERE for Amazon link to this MATH MANIPULATIVE

2.  This 100's board has been very helpful for the boys in learning how to rote count by 1's and 10's.  Instead of just looking at a paper 100's chart, this board lets them feel, touch, and actually place the numbers as they count.  Just sensory/tactile way to reinforce what we are learning.

 Click HERE for Amazon link to this HUNDREDS BOARD

3. IXL is an website that we use daily.  We use the free version which means we only get 10 questions a day.  However, that works perfectly for us.  Currently we are doing Preschool Language Arts: Reading Strategies and Vocabulary.  We bring the website up on our Ipad so the boys can use the touchscreen to select their answers.  

Click HERE to visit IXL website

4. Boom Cards- our speech therapist has provided us with a link to her cards, but you can also access quite a few of the resources for free.  A great interactive tool we use to work on speech.  We do this on our Ipad.

Click HERE for link to Boom Card website

5. TouchMath App- one of the math curriculums our boys use is Touch Math.  This app offers great practice and reinforcement of this method for counting and addition.  The basic level is free.  I can't remember if I paid a minimal amount for the upgrade.

Click HERE for more info on the TouchMath app

Finally, I use Ipad time as an incentive/reward for the boys doing their work with me.  These are the apps I like to offer them- they are both fun but also educational.  I also like these apps because they boys can explore them on their own without me having to be right there next to them.  We do sometimes do an activity together from the apps, but it's always nice to find a way to keep them occupied so I can get something done around the house for a few minutes here and there throughout the day.

1. StarFall- we do pay the annual fee for this one.  SOOO worth it!  We use for math and reading.

2. PBS Kids Games

3. Khan Academy for Kids: Math, Reading, Logic

4. Kindergarten Math by Alligator Apps

5. Writing Wizard: Handwriting numbers, and upper and lower case letters

6. ABC Keyboard: beginning keyboarding

One more thing.  Our boys LOVE to play with large blocks.  They build things with them, but they also use them to throw around and hit to reenact action scenes from shows they watch.  

We have had 2 sets of these blocks from Melissa and Doug which I love, but they do not hold up very long with the boys' rough play.

I know the following blocks are a bit pricey, but for the way the boys play with them, these foam blocks are holding up much better.  We have one set (12 blocks).  I'm thinking of ordering another set for Christmas.  Very nice and soft and so far, very durable.

Click HERE for Amazon link to LARGE FOAM BLOCKS

 

4 "H" UPDATE

Somehow October is finished already 

and November has started!  

Where does the time go?

Here's where our time has been spent:

HEALTH

With Jonah not feeling 100%, he often wants to just cuddle and be comforted.  

It's been a long road since Jonah first started experiencing kidney/bladder symptoms in early August, and it will continue to be a long road before things, hopefully, get back to normal.  

Jonah still has his suprapubic catheter.  It cannot come out yet because Jonah is hardly voiding any urine on his own.  Most of his urine output is coming through the catheter.  

The reason for this is partly because Jonah is very much off his routine of going to the bathroom because of all the issues he has had to deal with these past 3 months.  I am sad to say that whatever progress we had made in the toilet training area may be lost...  

Another reason is because it seems every time we try to have him off the bag for a few days, it seems like his back pain increases and his urine starts to get cloudy.  It's this repeating cycle of trying to have Jonah pee on his own, pain starts to increase and urine infection starts to set in so then have to go back to being on the bag (meaning all urine comes through catheter).  

In regards to the urine infection, it seems the doctors only treat them if they are causing a fever.  Otherwise, it is "normal" to have bacteria present when there is a catheter.  

So 2 weeks ago, Jonah started to be in a lot of pain and running a fever.  We cultured his urine, and he ended up having a staph bacteria present.  This was treated with antibiotics.  Jonah felt better during the 5 days plus he was on the antibiotic.  However, this past week, his pain has increased and urine is starting to look cloudy again.  He is not running a fever so no culture is being ordered yet.  However, he is now back on the bag again for a few days.  

Just a hamster wheel that keeps going round and round...

So what exactly are we waiting for or working towards?

Jonah's renal scan on 10-28 showed that his left kidney is still functioning quite well which is GREAT news.  

This means that doctor wants to continue giving that kidney time to come back down to normal size.  Jonah's ultrasound on 10-20 indicated the left kidney was still severely dialated despite the stent being in place since 9-4.  Since stents have to be replaced every few months, Jonah will have another surgery in the next 4-6 weeks to replace the stent and the catheter tube.  Jonah has to continue to be on the catheter because of his problem with voiding 100% on his own.  

Then the plan is for this new stent to be in place another 4 weeks.  At that point, I'm guessing another ultrasound to check if left kidney has reduced in size.  Doctor says he expects this to be a long slow process.  

The problem for me is all the pain Jonah keeps having to experience because of

1. His voiding problems    2. The presence of stent    3. The presence of catheter tube

At this point, I am frustrated and a bit weary about the situation because I feel so helpless for Jonah.

I keep hoping things will start to look up soon. It's been a long 3 months...

HOMECOMING

Some exciting news!  Our Lydia got chosen for Homecoming Court 2020.  Isn't she beautiful?  It was a rather different experience since it had to be Homecoming "COVID" style- court had to wear masks, no pep rally, and no Homecoming Dance, but I think Lydia will still cherished the memory!

HOMESCHOOLING

Jonah's writing paper from this morning- he nailed it!

Since late September when the boys were put in quarantine due to direct contact through school, we decided to keep them virtual and not put them at risk for exposure through school.  

Homeschooling them since March 2020 has been quite an interesting experience!  I keep learning more about them and how they process things.  I think the boys and I, especially Ben and I, have really bonded because of all this extra time together.  I actually love working with them.  It is so fascinating to watch them learn, and it's so exciting when things "click" for them.  Very rewarding and heart-warming.  

Of course, I feel bad they are missing the expertise from working in person with their teachers, but I am very grateful we at least get to work virtually with their teachers.  That helps me so much!  

So yes the school day is a challenge for me.  Things often don't go as planned and constant modifications are needed to make something work better for them.  Some days their attitudes or Jonah's health just aren't in the mood for learning.  I'm learning to be flexible and just do the best I can.  They're only 10 years old- they have a lot of learning opportunities ahead of them.  It's ok if not every day is the most productive school day.  

The funny thing about the above photo of Jonah's writing sheet is that he did this sheet ALL BY HIMSELF!  I wasn't sitting by him to help prompt him or anything.  

Since Jonah often doesn't feel that great, he has an even harder time staying focused on school.  The other day, I started to think about what it must feel like for him to have all these demands placed on him to do school work when most the time, it hurts for him to just move around.  So I decided, why not just let him do his entire school day from the love seat?  Why not just let him work at his own pace for some of the activities instead of constantly trying to motivate him to do more?  

Yesterday I set him up on the love seat with his own Chromebook so he could be virtually present in his classroom.  Ben and I set up at the dining room table as usual.  I gave Jonah the worksheets that he needed and his pencil, and decided for that for 1 hour, I would just let Jonah fend for himself.  I would stop bugging him.  He has enough of my interference to put up with for 24/7 because of school and all this extra personal/medical care he requires as of late.  Maybe he just needs a break from being told what to do.  

Well, the little guy blew me away!  Both yesterday and today, he just started doing the worksheets on his own.  He didn't do them perfectly, he didn't always finish them completely, but for the most part, he stayed on task.  He was very proud to show me and his online teachers his work.  

It also helped him to just stay put in one place all morning.  I think it definitely helped with his pain management.  I'm hoping we can continue with this set up since as I mentioned before, we have many more weeks of recovery ahead of us.

The other benefit so far is I think Ben enjoys having my full attention because I do sit with him at the table.  Ben requires less prompting so I don't really have to worry too much about over-nagging Ben like I do with Jonah.  

Quite the adventure!

HILARIOUS!

We decided we would give our dog the extra special treat of taking him along camping with us for our last weekend of camping in mid-October.  Isn't this what good dog-owners do?

Well, apparently our dog is not a camper.  

At the campsite, he sniffed around for about 30 minutes when we first arrived.  Then he ran to the van and hopped in the back and wouldn't get out.  After about an hour of waiting to see if he would join us by the picnic table, we decided to call it.  Lydia took him home and stayed with him that night.  

The dog is 13 years old- maybe he just thought he was too old to have to rough it!

So that's our update.  

Lots going on in this crazy time we live in!  

OH MY GOSH!

Incidentally, "Oh my gosh" is one of the cutest phrases that Ben says...

But it is also how things have been feeling around here lately...

What a whirlwind!

Jonah: still not feeling 100% after his surgery.  Things are slowing improving for him, but I don't think he will feel completely himself until he is rid of both the catheter and the stent and, hopefully, his left kidney is back to normal.

Jonah and Ben: in quarantine 14 days because of a direct exposure at school.  This was not totally unexpected.  Numbers are ramping up in our area so we knew the risk of exposure at school was probably increasing also.  But it still gave us a scare.  

The good news is they both tested negative 5 days after exposure.  We had them tested because on day 3 of exposure, because Ben started to have cold symptoms including a low-grade fever.  

However, the boys still need to be in quarantine for the full 14 day period despite the negative test results.  

School: after our scare with the boys, we did some soul-searching and realized that virtual school was probably the better choice for our boys at this time.  With Jonah still under the weather because of his kidney issues, it would not be good for him to catch COVID on top of these other issues.  Obviously, we can't 100% protect the boys from getting COVID, but keeping them home from school keeps them a bit more safe.  We will stay virtual at least until Jonah is completely recovered.

A shout-out to our school: they have been incredible about working with us as we keep changing the plan because of the curve balls that have come our way since late August/September.  And now, they are offering an on-line experience combined with materials I can work on with the boys so that they don't have to tied to a screen for hours a day.  Obviously, 100% in person school would offer the boys the most support for their needs, but I feel like the boys will be getting a pretty decent education doing it this way, at least for the time being.

Lydia: When the boys were put into quarantine, we decided to also have Lydia switch to virtual.  This is because the reality of having 2 little boys with DS is that you cannot isolate them from the rest of the family.  So if they would have gotten COVID from their exposure, the chances would have been pretty high that the rest of us would have gotten it too.  

Therefore, we decided to keep home whomever we were able to keep home: so Lydia and myself have hunkered down at home during this 14 day period also.  Of course, with the boys testing negative, Lydia could go back to school at any point, but she/us are thinking about possibly staying virtual for her also.  Much to think about.

Flexibility is the key word for us lately.  Things can change so quickly.  At this point, you just never know when you might be exposed to COVID since the numbers keep increasing for our area.  Of course, being exposed doesn't mean you automatically will get it, especially if we all take precautions and wear masks and social distance as much as we can.  For now, this is our new normal...

From our camping trip a few weeks ago.  

Aren't they handsome?

I just love this photo of Jonah.  He looks so happy which has been hard for him lately because of how much discomfort he has been in.  

Ben likes to come up with what he thinks are cute photo ops and then beg us to take his picture.  

I don't know why he combined a Mickey Mouse hat with a blanket as a cape?

 

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 2020/2021: THE WEIRD YEAR!

Lydia, Senior year

Ben, Fourth grade

Jonah, Fourth grade but virtual for now...

 

HERE'S THE PLAN

 

School starts 9-1-20.  Next week.

Our school district is offering two options: 

5 full days or virtual.

Lydia will be attending 5 full days.

Because the boys have an IEP, we have been able to formulate our own plan for them.  

The boys will be attending school from 9-12 each day.  They will have lunch at home, no recess, and no art, gym, or music.  They will also not have any time in their 4th grade classrooms.

They will spend their 3 hours in the special ed room having teaching time with their special ed teacher as well as their occupational and speech therapy.  I will work in the afternoon on things the teacher sends home with them.

At any point, we can change this plan and start giving them more time and more inclusion at school.

We are choosing this plan for the following reasons:

1. Minimal amount of contact/interaction for the boys since social distancing is VERY hard for them;

2. The boys will be able to be taught new things by their teacher since I feel like I am better in the role of maintaining/reviewing skills;

3. The boys will be able to have their therapies again after a very LONG break-since March 2020!

I am still very nervous about sending them to school even for 3 hours/day.  The boys have basically been safe at home since March.  We have been very protective of them.  Now I am letting them go to school, and I wouldn't even be there to watch over them.  This is very hard for me.  I worry about them getting sick, but I also worry about them getting others sick.  I honestly don't know if this will be the plan until Tuesday, 9-1 at 9 a.m. when I actually have to drop them off at school and drive away.   

I hope we are doing the smart and safe thing for them.  It's just so hard to know what is the right thing to do in this very confusing time we are in right now.

WHAT TO DO!

 Our school district just announced yesterday they are planning 5 days/wk in-person for the fall.  Masks will be used when social distancing can’t happen.  The school is also offering a virtual option.

Now as parents we must decide what works best and is safest for our kiddos.

Not an easy decision, but I’m grateful we have options.

Now the thinking begins...and lots of prayers for wisdom and discernment.

GET A GRIP!

Ben has amazed us with how much he knew coming to us, and then in how much he has learned since being with us.  He is one smart little boy in math, reading, the English language, problem solving, etc.

However, the one area he really struggles with is his fine motor skills especially with handwriting.  

This boy had no therapies during his 1st 6 years in the orphanage so we can definitely see he never was trained how to properly hold a pencil.  

School has worked with him for 3 years now and has basically said they have gotten him to the best point they feel possible with his pencil grip.  They feel like he is functional even though it's not pretty.  We agreed with school since he was able to write legibly.  It didn't seem worth the fight/struggle for any of us to get him to hold a pencil correctly.

Well, I agreed until spending the past 3 months homeschooling him.  

Watching him write, especially during math, is excruciating painful!  

I am a bit of a neat freak and so his messiness, even though he is doing the best he can, really bothers me.  I always taught my older kids that being neat in your math work is half the battle to doing the math accurately.  I still feel that way.  The way Ben chicken-scratches his numbers etc, it is often impossible for him to do his math calculations!

So I am taking on the battle to help his pencil grip- even though many have tried before me, I am going to try myself.  I don't know if I will be successful, but for my sanity I have to try.  Plus I think if he can get a better grip, handwriting will be less uncomfortable for him.  He honestly looks like he is in pain when he writes because of the way he positions his fingers/hand/arm.

After doing some research, I have decided on the following products.  

Today was our first day using one of the pencil grips, and I felt like I saw improvement already.  I also took some photos/videos to show our progress today.

This is the pencil grip I tried in the past that didn't work.  For one thing, I think I ordered too small of a size so it was hard and frustrating for Ben to try and squeeze his thumb and pointer finger into the pockets.  But the other problem is he continues to position his 3rd/4th fingers very strangely since there is no guide for how he should hold those fingers.

So I found this set of 4 pencil grips that you use progressively.  Stage one (UPPER LEFT PHOTO- PURPLE GRIP) is what we used today.  It's nice because the ring on the bottom is for the 3rd finger so Ben can position that correctly.  

Photo of Ben withOUT a pencil grip- his grip is weak and very awkward.  Looks like a real struggle for him to write. 

Ben using the Stage One grip- his grip looked stronger, and he was more in control of his writing.  

 Another photo using the new grip

And another photo showing new grip

Here are two videos of Ben writing

Here Ben is not using pencil grip, and I feel like his fingers/hand are in awkward position. 

In the bizarro world we live in at our house, there are many skills that Ben does better than Jonah even though Jonah has had interventional therapies since 1 month old.  How funny/weird/unexplainable is that?  But one skill Jonah is VERY good at is handwriting (when he chooses to concentrate).  Here is a photo of Jonah writing: great form!

Here is a video Jonah writing.  

Please excuse his teeth-grinding, often happens when he is concentrating on a task.

Finally, here is the other product I purchased to try.  The child has to hold a charm inside his palm to help with proper hand position while writing.  

Let's hope we have some success!  

It can't hurt to try, right?

Here is the link to 4 Stage Pencil Grippers

4 Stage Pencil Grippers

Here is the link to the Pencil Grip Bracelet

HandiWriter