The reason this blog is called “His Pleasant Place” is because of Psalm 16: 5-6. It is our hearts’ desire that our home would be Ben/Ryan’s “pleasant place”.
After 2 snow cancellations, parent-teacher conferences finally happened for the boys. What a jaw-dropping experience! In a good way! The report on Ben's progress at school could not have been better. His teachers all commented on how appropriately Ben acts (most of the time), how bright and hard-working he is (most of the time), and how sweet and funny he is (most of the time). Now we know Ben can be like this, but we also know that Ben can often present mad, defiant, and rude. Ben puts up a lot of defensive barriers before he feels comfortable enough to show his sweet side. So needless to say, Andrew and I were very pleasantly surprised to hear that Ben is presenting so positively at school! It was a joy to hear! Hence the jaw dropping experience...in a good way! This morning, I was reminded to always look how far we have come with Ben. While I was working on the computer, Ben started playing with the Batman toys. He played/imagined for over 45 minutes! This is amazing because when we first brought Ben home, he did not know how to play with toys. He did not know how to imagine. He often would sit in corners and stim- shaking an object in front of his face. Now this little boy is PLAYING! This little boy is IMAGINING! What a joy to see that kind of progress. So this video might seem boring and uneventful to you, but I find it fascinating! It's Ben at play:
Isn't he cute- and happy? Thank you Lord for breaking down those walls bit by bit!
Here is Psalm 139:13-16 which is in the background of the photo:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
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With 2 boys with Down syndrome, we definitely understand (and live) the phrase, "It's a marathon, not a sprint." Most things with the boys happen later than to be expected and take longer to learn. Our paraphrase of the popular "marathon vs. sprint" saying would be: Our boys get there, they just take a more scenic route :) The thing about hard-earned achievements is this: the joy and pride you feel once the task is accomplished seems so much sweeter and valuable than when you accomplish something without much effort. When our boys "get something", it's exciting and heartwarming to watch them succeed! My mom rehabbing from her stroke is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. She is making small but significant progress, and I am super proud of her hard work and my dad's unwavering support and encouragement for her! What a blessing to watch the two of them work hard each and every day.
On January 15th, my mother suffered a massive stroke. My mom is 85 years old. The past few years, she has had some health scares, but she has always bounced back. As much as we knew a major health issue could happen, it was something I sort of lived in the land of denial about. I had other plans for my time with both of my parents.
My mom is an amazing person. She is strong and a fighter. So is my dad who has been by her side non-stop since the stroke happened. Their tenacity and strength has been a source of inspiration to many as they both work to make my mom healthy again. Their trust in the Lord and His comfort and plan for their lives has been a witness to many during the lengthy hospital stay.
My mom is currently working to get to a rehab facility to see what she can regain from what she lost from the stroke. If she can stay healthy, I think she will make some gains because she is so determined to work hard and try her best.
Having a family crisis like this, when you have 2 little boys with special needs, just adds some interesting layers to life. I have not been home as much as I usually am. When I am home, I admit I am distracted. I am operating at getting the bare minimum done with housework, meal prep, book work, and unfortunately even with my activities with the boys.
How this affects the boys differs because they have such different personalities and approaches to life.
Ben has pretty much rolled with it. If anything, I have felt closer to Ben these past few weeks. Maybe the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is working in my favor, haha.
Jonah has regressed in his bathrooming success- we were at the point of staying dry for 2-3 hour stretches! Now we are having more accidents again. Jonah has also been having impulse control issues, however, Jonah's HYPER thyroid has not been under control for the past months, so that is definitely another factor in his behavior issues.
Just a lot of stuff going on.
I have to be honest. Life with children with special needs is usually very doable for me. However, when there a bump in the road, it sometimes can be overwhelming for a period because everything can get off kilter pretty easily and pretty quickly. It just requires me to be patient and put my trust in the Lord into over gear until we get on solid footing again.
So 2019 did not start out how I expected it to- life never does really go as we expect, does it? Ben's amazing ability to roll with things is a gift I think would be helpful for all of us.
Who would have thought our little Lithuanian wonder would have the secret to life? God certainly uses both our boys to teach me lots of life lessons. I guess life never ceases to amaze me either...
And now some pictures to share so far from 2019:
Abigail hanging out with our
2 valuable sources of wisdom :)
Ben, top photo. Jonah, bottom photo.
Beautiful winter day hike by Lake Michigan with Stephen and our dog Tucker
Abigail travels to Mexico over Christmas break with her Bio-Medical Engineering group
Lydia's amazing art project
After hardly any snow for the month of December, we now have snow! The boys love playing outside! Good way to get out some energy!
Since the boys have been unable to see Grandma (or Grandpa) since the stroke, we made this video for them. They miss "Bebop"- their word for Grandma and Grandpa.
Jonah and I were drawing together yesterday. After a bit, he wanted the paper and marker to himself. ON HIS OWN, he preceded to spell and write DAD, MOM, and BEN. Even though he said the letters of each name in the correct order as he wrote them, some of them he wrote in wrong order. But we are very impressed that he was spelling and writing letters on his own, without any help or prompt! We are so thankful for our school team and all their hard work, determination, patience :) , and high expectations for both of our boys!
