HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

Today is Ryan’s 5th Birthday.  It is also Father’s Day which Andrew feels honored to share the day with this wonderful little boy.

Whenever one of our kids has a birthday, I am always happy/sad.  I am happy because I am so thankful they are healthy and happy.  I am happy because their birth days were 4 of the best days of my life!  But their birthdays also make me sad because I realize how quickly it is going- our oldest is going to be a senior in high school this fall.  Where did that time go?  I’m not ready for the little birds to leave our nest!

On Ryan’s birthday, I experienced happy/sad feelings also.  Happy because he is a healthy and happy little boy from all the reports I have heard from the orphanage.  But I was sad because he couldn’t be here with his family celebrating his special day.  I want him to experience the joy of having a special cake made just for him and having presents to open.  But most of all, I was sad because he didn’t experience the love of his family surrounding him and hugging him and telling him how much we love him and how happy we are that he was born.  Everyone needs to hear those things on their birthday.  I am praying that Ryan’s next birthday will be so very different for him…and us.

Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Ryan!

SOME DAY I WILL LAUGH (RIGHT?...)

We had our home visit yesterday for our home study.  Deb from Special Children, Inc. is an incredibly friendly and encouraging woman.  We had a very nice visit  plus Deb gave us much needed guidance and direction for preparing the dossier paperwork.

We need forms filled out by our doctors for the dossier.  However the difficult thing is the forms need to be notarized.  Most of our doctors’ offices do not have a notaries.  This means we will have to bring a notary to the offices and then request the various doctors to sign the forms in the presence of a notary.   Things are further complicated because we have doctors in Sheboygan, Plymouth, and West Bend.  I confess to you this seems like a logistical nightmare!  I don’t know how I am going to coordinate all this much less get the cooperation of the doctors.  Not knowing there were specific forms for the dossier, I had already had some of our doctors fill out the medical form provided by Special Children Inc. so now I have to go back and ask them to redo.

During my quiet time this morning, I prayed to God for a miracle in helping these forms get completed correctly.  I am not a very assertive person, and I think I will have to be a bit demanding to get everyone on the same page for this task.  I definitely will need God’s wisdom and timing to make this work.

Someday I will laugh (right?…) when I think how the success of this adoption could hinge on us completing all the paperwork correctly!

THE CHILD WE HAVEN'T MET...YET

Today is Mother’s Day.  I feel so blessed on this day because first of all I am able to celebrate a wonderful relationship with my mother.  My mom is a great Christian woman who has always shown incredible love and support to me throughout my life, even during those times when I wasn’t deserving of it (teenage years, hee hee).

I also feel incredibly blessed on Mother’s Day because the Lord has given my husband and I four beautiful children.  The joy and happiness that these kiddos have brought to my life is just amazing.

When I was in first grade, we had to write what we wanted to be when we grew up.  I listed things like working in a shoe store or food store.  But then I wrote that what I wanted most of all was to be a mother.  I have that picture framed up in our bedroom because it reminds me every day of how the Lord answered that prayer.  I love being a mom.  Its the best (and hardest) job I have had.  The hours are long, the work is unending, but the benefits are out of this world!

As we are in the beginning stages of adoption, I am aware that perhaps by next Mother’s Day, we may have another child in our family.  Even though I have only seen photos of Ryan, I feel a mother’s tug of heart towards him already.

Of course, I remember already feeling madly in love with our three biological children during their pregnancies.  I hadn’t met them, but they had already stole my heart.  Then in our experience of adopting Jonah, we had the privilege of being involved in his birth mom’s last month of prenatal care as well as being present at his birth.  This was an amazing experience and the start of our bonding with Jonah even before he was born.

Now we are experiencing a different type of adoption experience.  It will be a long distance relationship via the internet until we are able to travel.  And yet, God in His amazing way, has allowed me to love a child we haven’t even met…yet.  We are so praying that we are able to be the family for Ryan.  Happy Mother’s Day Ryan- you are in our thoughts and prayers on this very special day.

WHY?

I suspect we will be asked this question by many people as we start to tell what is happening in our family.  There are many answers to that question ranging from we feel God is calling us to do this, to we fell in love with Ryan and want him to be part of our family.  But there is also another reason God showed us:

The future for children like Ryan is that even if they are good orphanages, which are still not a substitute in any way for a family, eventually they will age-out of the orphanage system.  The next home for them will be a mental institution.  One of the reasons we want to adopt Ryan is to give him a future with a family who loves him.  We also long for him to have a place to call home that is not an institution.  My hearts breaks for the many children who do not get that chance.

We all have a responsibility, in some way, to give the kiddos we know about today a chance at a family.

During one of my quiet times this week, I read the passage in John 5:1-14 where Jesus healed the disabled man by the pool by saying, “Pick up your mat and walk.”  God pointing out something that I had never thought about before in that passage.  This disabled man had been this way for 38 years.  When Jesus asked him in the beginning of the story if he wanted to be well, he answered that he had been trying to get to the pool on his own because no one was there to help him.  God really highlighted that part to me: for 38 years, no one had offered to help this poor soul get to the pool to be healed?  Where were his family and friends?  Where were kind-hearted people willing to help?  Where was the love that God calls us to show others, especially those less fortunate than us?

The Lord showed me that I need to make sure I am looking out for hurting people and then doing something to help them.  Some people may have been waiting for years for someone to come along side them.  I can’t make them wait any longer.   God is calling me to help.

That is one of the reasons we are trying to adopt Ryan.  I don’t want Ryan to have to wait any longer for the love of a family.  We are coming as soon as we can, sweet boy!

The following song by Matthew West was inspiring to us- we hope it is to you also!

JONAH'S JOURNEY

the story of how God brought our son to our family

I don’t think Ryan’s story is complete without telling the story of Jonah:

GOD GIVES US AN IDEA…Jonah’s story begins with a foster baby we had in June 2009 who had Down syndrome.  Our time with precious little Baby M lead us to start thinking about adopting a baby with Down syndrome.  We realized Down syndrome was a condition we felt comfortable with and had some knowledge about.  We were also made aware of the tremendous amount of resources such as early intervention therapies that are available to a child with Down syndrome.

GOD GIVES US GUIDANCE…After much prayer, we contacted Bethany Christian Services and let them know we would be interested in adopting a baby with Down syndrome.  We thought there was a good chance we may be traveling out of state for this baby.  Little did we know our baby would end being 20 minutes from our house!  God was truly working in the lives of the birth mother and our family!

GOD SETS THINGS IN MOTION…The birth mom contacted Bethany Christian Services in late spring of 2010 after finding out the baby boy she was carrying had Down syndrome.  She was very worried there would not be a family willing to adopt her baby because of his special needs.  After looking at our adoption profile, the birth mom wanted to meet with us.  This meeting happened in early August 2010.

GOD MAKES THINGS HAPPEN…At that meeting, the birth mom told us she had chosen us as the forever family for her baby boy!  We spent the rest of August 2010 getting ready for a new baby in our family!

GOD BLESSES US…Then on a beautiful day in September 2010, we welcomed little Jonah into this world.  What an experience.  Happy Birth Day Jonah!

GOD WATCHES OVER ALL OF US…Jonah spent a few days in the hospital with his birth mother.  Then on his discharge day, we drove him to a foster home where he would stay until the Termination of Parental Rights hearing that would happen a few weeks later.

GOD COMFORTS US AS WE WAIT…All we could do during those few weeks of waiting was pray:  pray that God’s will would be done in our lives, the lives of the birth parents, and most of all the life of precious Jonah.  As a family, we prayed the words of Psalm 16:5-6:

 “Lord, you have assigned [Jonah] his portion and his cup; You have

made [Jonah’s] lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for [Jonah]

in pleasant places, surely [Jonah] has a delightful inheritance.”

It was our hearts’ desire that our home would be Jonah’s “pleasant place”.

GOD CELEBRATES WITH US…Finally the hearing day arrived!  We got the news on our way to the foster home.  The birth parents terminated their rights.  Jonah was part of our family!

GOD CONTINUES TO WORK…During Jonah’s first four years, the Lord has blessed us with healing from some serious health issues for Jonah and Mary.  He has helped our family bond and grow closer than we ever imagined when we first pondered adoption.  The Lord has also blessed us with a beautiful relationship with Jonah’s birth family through our open adoption.  Finally, Jonah continues to amaze us and his teachers with his incredible success at school…the sky is the limit for our little guy!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declare the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11.

OUR ADOPTION TIMELINE

This is the beautiful little boy we are hoping and praying will soon be part of our family!  Here is what has happened so far on our journey:

Fall 2014  The Lord starts really working on our hearts about adopting another child with Down syndrome.

February 2015  We inquire to Reece’s Rainbow about Ryan.  We are referred to Open Door Adoption Agency.

March 2015  Cathy at Open Door provides us with updated pictures of Ryan.  We begin to fall more in love!

Easter 2015 We decide to adopt Ryan.

April 2015  Application submitted (and approved!) to Open Door as placing agency, application submitted to Special Children, Inc. as home study agency.

May 6, 2015 We begin completing and sending in our paperwork for home study.  This is truly a labor of love and paperwork!

May 22, 2015 First home visit by Debra at Special Children Inc.

June 2015 We start on dossier paperwork and I800A form

June 5, 2015 2nd home study appointment at Deb’s office

June 25, 2015 Passports arrive!

July 1, 2015   Andrew’s doctor appointment today- last of the 6.  God willing, we can get forms notarized 7-8-15 and call this part done!

July 8, 2015  All 6 doctor forms are completed and notarized!  Just got email from Cathy with final attachments for dossier documents: application to Ryan's country and passport affidavits.  Cathy wants these done ASAP so we can send dossier to Silva for translating.

July 10, 2015 Dossier documents sent to Cathy for review.

July 14, 2015 1st Draft of Home Study complete- we have reviewed and are waiting for Cathy at OD to review.  I800A is ready to go when we get the final copy of study. 

July 23, 2015 Good news: our home study is ready to go! Once all the pieces come to us from OD and our home study agency, we can get the I800A in the mail! Yeah!

July 30, 2015 I800A mailed out today.  Should arrive by noon tomorrow!  Processing time is 6-8 weeks.

August 6, 2015 28 documents sent to WI Secretary of State for apostilling.  Should arrive to them by tomorrow morning.  Processing time is 7-10 days.

August 14, 2015 Home study emailed to Silva in country so that she begin translating.  Still waiting on Immigration and WI Secretary of State. 

August 17, 2015  Biometrics appointment scheduled for 8-26!

August 20, 2015   Documents are back from Secretary of State and now on their way to OD in Thomasville, GA.  Next stop: overseas for translation by Silva.

August 24, 2015 Dossier on its way overseas to Silva.

August 26, 2015 Biometrics appointment done!

August 30, 2015 Silva has dossier.  Translation begins tomorrow.

August 31, 2015 USCIS approval arrives in mail!

September 14, 2015 USCIS approval on its way overseas.

October 6, 2015  We got the news that government will match us with Ryan, but nothing can be processed until my 5 year mark for cancer which is 2-25-16.  So instead of traveling in Feb 2016 like we hoped, we probably wouldn't travel until summer 2016.  Disappointed...

TIME OF WAITING OCT 2015 thru FEBRUARY 2016


March 17, 2016  Dossier should be going before government agency for reconsideration sometime in the next 30 days...hopefully sooner!

April 7, 2016  Matching process is beginning.  We are approved!

April 14, 2016 Our acceptance of referral has been delivered to authorities.  

April 21, 2016 I800 overnited to USCIS in Texas

May 14, 2016 RFE received.  Major mistake on our part!  Because Abigail is almost 18, we should have updated our home study and had biometric fingerprints done on her.  This all could have been done back this winter when we were waiting on my 5 year mark.  Now things will be delayed as we scramble to get all this done.  Shucks!

June 6, 2016 Biometrics appointment for Abigail is scheduled for next week, 6-15.  Yeah!

June 15, 2016 Abigail's biometrics done.

June 20, 2016 I800 approved!  Emailed to Cathy, Silva, and Reda.

June 21, 2016 Online Visa application for Benjamin completed.

June 29, 2016 Court date is 7-15!!! We leave 7-8!!!! 

July 9th  We arrive in Vilnius in the afternoon and meet Ben for the very first time!

July 10th  Our major day of sightseeing in Vilnius.  So much fun!

July 9-14th Daily visits with Ben at the orphanage, 9-12 am and then again 4-6.  Also some appointments like immigration medical exam for Ben, passport office, bank, etc.  Busy!

July 15 COURT HEARING at 1 p.m.  Judge announced at the end of hearing, she would have her decision in 1 hour!!!! Everyone was shocked.  We were prepared to have to wait until Monday since our hearing was on a Friday afternoon.  This quick decision allowed Reda to be able to start the going home paperwork already on Saturday which would speed things up for next week.  What a blessing from the Lord.  But even more important than the speediness was the decision that was declared at 3 p.m that day- Benjamin Kostas Lavey was officially our son!  We went right to the orphanage at 3:30, woke him up from his nap and gave him the good news through many cuddles and tears!  What an unbelievable and unforgettable day!  Then we packed up his things, and Ben came to live with us at the apartment.  

July 15-20th  Sightseeing and running errands with Ben as we prepare to leave for home.  

July 21st  Heading home!  We fly out out Vilnius at 6 a.m. and are home in Cedar Grove by 8 p.m. that night.  We got to leave 4 days ahead of schedule!

ABOUT US

Hello from Andrew and Mary.  The Lord has blessed us with 3 biological children and 1 adopted child: Abigail (almost 17), Stephen (15), Lydia (12) and Jonah (4 1/2).  Jonah came to our home when he was 1 mth old.  Jonah has Down syndrome.

The purpose of this blog is tell our journey to adopt another little boy with Down syndrome.  He is 4 1/2 years old and lives in an Eastern European country.  For this blog, we will refer to him as Ryan since that is his screen name on the Reece’s Rainbow website.

The reason this blog is called “His Pleasant Place” is because of Psalm 16: 5-6.  These are same words we prayed during Jonah’s adoption process:

5 Lord, you alone are [Ryan’s] portion and [his] cup;
    you make [his] lot secure.
6 [Let] the boundary lines [fall] for [Ryan] in pleasant places;
    [and that he would] surely have a delightful inheritance.

It is our hearts’ desire that our home would be Ryan’s “pleasant place”.