Over these past 18 months of this adoption process, it was always in the back of my mind that going to get Benjamin would mean having to be away from our other 4 kiddos for probably 3 weeks. But it was always just an far-off plan. Well, now it is reality. Andrew and I leave tomorrow.
We are all packed. Jonah is packed and ready to stay by Aunt Jane. The other kids have their master calendar to help them navigate these next 19 days. My parents and other sisters are ready to help wherever needed. We truly could not being doing this without all everyone's help. We are so grateful.
But on this night before, this is the really hard part. Getting ready to say good bye to our 4 children knowing life will be completely different when we are all back together again- there are just a lot of emotions for me tonight:
I am feeling guilty for leaving our kids, guilty for changing their lives so much.
I am feeling super excited and happy to finally meet Benjamin and welcome him to our family.
I am feeling nervous he may not like us. I am nervous about the adjustment process for all of us.
I am scared about our travel- I am more of a homebody so overseas travel is really stepping out of my comfort zone!
I am trying to savor each moment because it is such a privilege to be part of this story! God is doing amazing things for this precious little boy, and I am thrilled to be able to watch God at work.
Like I said, my emotions are all over the place- it might not be the greatest night of sleep for me. Hopefully I remember to pray and give these anxious thoughts to the Lord.
So time to try and get some sleep..and pray.
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