MY OBSERVATIONS OF BEN OVER PAST 3 MONTHS

This blog serves two purposes.

First, it records our adoption journeys, both of Ben (2016) and Jonah (2010).  Hopefully, someday, it will be a beautiful gift for all our children to read and remember the Lord's beautiful work in forming our family.  

Second, it hopefully encourages families to adopt a child with Down syndrome.  Part of that encouragement, I believe, is informing families what an adoption journey may all involve- to be truthful and honest about some of the difficulties that are involved in adopting.  This honesty is not meant to scare families but rather to help them prepare. 

So with that in mind, I am sharing my observation of Ben over the our first 3 months with him - August, September and October. We have come to know his incredible strengths along with some of his weaknesses.  

Do we completely know Ben yet?  I don't think so because it's only been 3 months.   We have only just begun, but what a beautiful beginning it has been!

October 2016

BEN'S STRENGTHS

1. Very bright

2. Very verbal

3. Understanding English quickly

4. Easy transitions

5. Social and outgoing

6. Able to entertain himself easily

7. Behaves well in a group setting

9. Figures out how things work: vacuum cleaner, CD player etc

10. Personal care- bathroom and dressing

11. Easily redirected most times

12. Shows appropriate affection to mostly the primary people in his life rather than just random strangers

13. Seems to be bonding with all 6 of us as well as Grandpa & Grandma and aunties

BEN'S WEAKNESSES

Cognitive

1. Not much interest in toys or playing creatively

2. Not much interest in being read to

3. Patterns- working on A-B-A-B patterns so far

4. Number recognition (haven't worked on letter recognition yet, just letter sounds)

Gross Motor

1. Running

2. Balance- can seem unsteady especially when climbing stairs

3. Motor planning- in certain things, such as getting in/out stroller, he can't figure out how to position his body

4. Very stiff body when being held or picked up

Fine Motor

1. holding pencil, crayon etc.

2. using scissors

3. handwriting and coloring

Behavioral

I think most of these behaviors are a result of being in an orphange for all his life.  The good news about this list is I am seeing a softening of these behaviors.  They are still there, but seem to be less intense.  I think, in time, we will work through most of them.

1. Anger rather than remorse when reprimanded-as of late, showing a fist to us

2. Inappropriate licking (floor, walls, countertops, etc) especially when reprimanded

3. Thumbsucking

4. Lots of waving an object in front of his face for long periods of time- will choose to do this over playing with toys- stimming?  In the adoption world, this seems like it is a common orphanage behavior.

5. Self-rocking almost to the point of head banging when putting himself to sleep

6. Very resistant to personal touch for combing hair, washing face, nail care etc.

7. Likes to be in charge

8. Lying- blames Jonah for everything

9. Food issues- while Ben eats veges and fruit quite freely, he doesn't like most of the main dishes we eat for our meals.  He will only eat yogurt and granola bar for breakfast, and pizza, mashed potatoes, wild rice, and chicken sausage for lunch and supper.  Not sure if this is a control issue or not…