BEN:
Doing GREAT in school. Almost every day we receive a note from his teacher complimenting Ben for his hard work and determination to learn. Ben is improving in his handwriting, math, and reading skills. We are so proud of Ben. Ben loves a good challenge so if something is difficult for him, that motivates him to conquer it! I think this kid is destined to great things in life.
A few struggles we are having with Ben as of late: I think the green eyed monster of jealously has been hitting Ben. With all of Jonah's health issues, I think Ben is trying to command a little more attention for himself. Unfortunately he doesn't care if that is positive or negative attention so he does whatever he cn to get us to notice him: defiance and trying to control everything (bossing people around, trying to discipline Jonah, TV remotes, turning on lights/fans throughout the house, trying to "cook" in the kitchen, trying to work appliances etc). He's requiring a lot of surveillance these past 2 weeks and a little bit more patience on our part than usual.
JONAH:
Doing GREAT with peeing on his own. Doctor is very hopeful once this infection clears up, we will be very close to removing the catheter!
Our schedule is VERY busy with all appointments to keep Jonah healthy: labwork, physical therapy, behavioral therapy, urine cultures etc.
Also Ben has a few appointments to thrown in the mix too, so we are hopping!
Having some really good days in school, and having some days where he struggles with attending.
Jonah's sweetness has really amped up these past couple of weeks. He is very polite and cuddly and just overall happy to hang out with us.
BOTH BOYS:
We decided to tell the boys their adoption stories. We have always referred to them being adopted, but we have never sat them down and fully explained what that meant.
I remember a few years ago I was talking to another adoptive mom of boys with Down syndrome. She told me that both her boys knew all about their adoptions. At the time, I knew our boys were not at a point that they would understand if we told them. Her boys were a few years older than ours.
So here we are 2 years later, and we decided our boys were ready.
What really initiated this was the boys' teacher this school year was pregnant. So the whole "baby in the tummy" became quite the topic at our house, with our boys trying to associate that they were once babies in my tummy. I didn't want to lie to them so we decided it was time to explain.
The other thing that I became aware of over these past few months is that with all our doctor appointments because of Jonah's kidney issue, I quite often have to refer to him being adopted during the medical history part of the exam. Jonah listens to EVERYTHING that is said so he was hearing this reference about adoption. It wasn't fair of us to be telling strangers about them without them knowing what adoption meant.
So I made a social story book about their stories. We even included photos of their birth parents. We prayed over the book and over our boys before presenting it to them.
As I read the book, Jonah only focused on Ben's story. Ben kept focusing on my tummy and saying "Me baby." Very interesting. Then for the next hour after reading the book, both boys were VERY naughty. I think they were processing what they had heard.
A few days later, Jonah wanted to show the book to Stephen over FaceTime. He seemed very comfortable and proud of it. Ben is not interested in it anymore.
Of course, I do recognize that some of the behavior I described above in Ben's section may also be a reaction to us telling him his adoption story. Jonah's more intense affection I described above in his section may also be a reaction to his adoption. When you have kiddos that can't completely express/communicate their thoughts/feelings, it's a guessing game to figure out what is reaction to what. We do the best we can.
That is all we are going to do with them for now. They know where the book is if they want to look at it again. We will continue to remind them how much we love them and that we are their family forever.
Did we open a can of worms that didn't need to opened? I don't know, but it seemed like telling the truth was the best answer so that's what we did.
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