SUCCESS OR NOT?

 

Ben just completed a 4 week social skills class offered through Progressive Beginnings in Sheboygan.

After the first class, I was quite impressed because when I spoke with one of the therapists, he identified some of the improper social things Ben does often: saying "Cow" and lifting up his shirt to show his chest.  I was impressed and relieved because I felt validated, like it isn't just me noticing odd social behaviors from Ben.  I was excited to see how this class might help Ben act more appropriately.

The next 3 weeks of class were a success.   The therapist reported each week that Ben was acting very appropriately and treating the other kids properly and with respect and kindness.  

While this news made me happy on one hand, I was also dismayed.  Because I am still seeing weird social behaviors from Ben:  for example, when Jonah's voice teacher arrives for Jonah's lesson, when we visit  Grandma and Grandpa, when we interact with the receptionist at speech therapy check-in, during fellowship time at church.  

Why?  Is it me?  Is my presence a trigger for Ben to act inappropriately?  Does he do this simply to push my buttons?  Or am I expecting too much from Ben?  More than he can give?  I wish I knew these answers.

For the most part, I can predict when Ben will act inappropriately.  It's whenever social interaction is initiated by SOMEONE ELSE.  If Ben initiates the conversation, he is very pleasant and appropriate.  But if someone greets him or asks him a question, he gives weird behaviors/answers.

Given this fact, I find it hard to believe that during this 4 week class, Ben was never approached by someone else for social interaction.  He had to have been asked questions or approached for conversation.  But the therapist tells me he did amazing.  I'm confused.  

I feel like the ball is back in my court trying to figure out how to take Ben out in public and have good interactions with people.  I wasn't that naive to think a 4 week class would "fix" everything, but I thought I would get some insight into how to help him.  But it seems like there wasn't anything to help him with. 

Confusing and frustrating is how I am feeling even though it seems like I should feel excited and proud of Ben's success in the class.

Again, I wish I had the answers to all my questions...

The mystery of Ben continues.