Yesterday our family had to say goodbye to a very cherished and loved member of our family- our dear sweet dog Tucker.
So many emotions we are all feeling right now: grief and pain over him being gone, but gratitude that we had him for almost 16 really good years.
He got our older 3 kids through from childhood to adulthood. He experienced 15 foster babies in our home. He welcomed our two boys home through their adoptions. He was always ready to love us and comfort us if we were sad and play and hang out with us when we were happy. He was a kind and gentle soul who didn't command attention like some dogs do. He was just a quiet and constant presence in our lives and in our home. He will be greatly missed.
We probably have thousands of photos of Tucker. At some point, I will make a post sharing my favorite Tucker photos. But these photos are reflecting his last days with us, so that we never forget the privilege we had of loving him through his last moments with us, his family- forever.
This was taken on Monday, 8-28. Over the past year, Tucker had certainly slowed down. He no longer could run with Stephen, and sometimes it was hard for him to manuever steps etc. The past 3 months, we saw even more decline in him because he would move around less and sleep more. He started skipping one of his 2 daily meals every couple days. But he was still happy and excited to hang out with us and loved to be cuddled and hugged. Life was still good for him, just at a slower pace. So on this Monday, he was acting very normal for what we were use to this past year. We were actually camping with the 2 boys so it was just Stephen and Lydia home with him.
Just like that on Tuesday, 8-29, Lydia called us around lunchtime at the campground and said Tucker was walking funny. Just a few hours later, she let us know he was not able to move at all- if he tried, he just fell down. We decided we needed to get home fast. We packed up and were home by 9 p.m. This is what we found. Our poor friend, very larthargic and sleepy. He hadn't eaten for the past day. He was still drinking some water. It was blessing though that he let us lay by him and cuddle and pet him.
After sleeping by his side Tuesday night, we called the vet early 8-30, Wednesday morning to make an appointment. At the appointment, the vet told us Tucker was most like in kidney failure and had hours-days-week to live. However, it would only get more uncomfortable and scary for him in the time left because of how sick he was. We made the very heart-wrenching decision to put him down. We were all able to say goodbye to him, even Abigail thru FaceTime. For his final moments, he had Stephen hugging him and Lydia and I holding his paws.
The following quotes and poems express how our hearts are feeling right now. We know he was "just a dog", but to us he was part of our family. He was and is deeply loved and will be deeply missed.
For how this loss if affecting the boys, we are unsure what they are all feeling and understanding. We are trying to give them information so that they feel included in our grief, but we also don't want to overwhelm them. We are trying to explain that Tucker got very sick and died while trying to reassure them that getting sick doesn't automatically mean you die. We are telling them Tucker is in heaven because we are thinking they will never get to cognitive level to understand Biblically about human versus animal souls etc. It seems to give them comfort and joy to think about Tucker now being with "Beebop" which is Grandma so we are going to give them that. It also seems like after some initial strong emotions- Jonah sobbing and Ben working hard to get attention- they are now in the "out of sight, out of mind" mode and not really noticing Tucker is gone. Kids in general seem to go in and out of grief while adults seems to stay more planted in grief for a period of time. So I'm sure there will be times where they will notice and mourn Tucker's absence. We are doing our best to understand and respect how our boys process and deal with the pain of losing someone they love.
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