THE SWEETNESS OF BEN

Anyone who is around Ben for any significant amount of time picks up pretty quickly the kid loves sweets.  There isn't a cookie, candy, donut, cake, or ice cream the kid doesn't enjoy!  Before anyone gets ready to pounce on me as a parent, we do keep his consumption of sweets to a minimum unless we need to really bribe him up good- haha.  No seriously, the kid is a healthy weight and has healthy teeth so his love of sugar doesn't seem to be hurting him at this point yet.  

So yes, Ben loves to eat sweets.

However, anyone who is around Ben for any significant amount of time would also pick up pretty quickly that the kid likes to "lay in the weeds" in regards to acting sweet.  Ben's go-to behavior is usually more rough and gruff in nature.  He is happy, but he often presents kinda mad, with a loud/growly voice, and he likes to give directions/commands- haha.  

But every so often, Ben relaxes and lets you see his sweet side.  And boy, is the reward great when you get to see and experience the sweetness of Ben.  What a cute adorable little soul hides behind all that rough and tough exterior.  When Ben acts sweet, I now realize and so greatly appreciate the amount of courage it takes him to let down his defenses and become vulnerable in showing his emotions to people around him.   

This past Friday I got to witness the sweetness of Ben in such a Ben way.   

Every month, students at our school get to spend their good behavior tickets at the Rocket Shop- basically a teacher-stocked garage sale.  The boys have come home with many items over the years, all items which for the most part they each have kept for himself.  

This Friday, I picked up Ben and brought him home from school as usual.  He rarely says much about his day unless I prompt him to tell me about it.  Today he had no "exciting" news to report, but again, that is pretty usual.  We got home and started our afterschool routine.  Jonah has been home from school all week because of his tonsilectomy on Monday.  After Ben had been home a few minutes, he went to his backpack to get something out: a pink stuffed animal unicorn- kind of weird looking/very girly but very soft.  Then I watched him walk over to Jonah who was laying on the sofa and in Ben's typical growly voice he annouced, "Here Paul/Jonah sick." (remember Jonah's 2nd identity these days is Paul McCartney).  Then he throws the unicorn at Jonah and walks away.  This interaction translated in "Ben Speak" is Ben giving a gift to Jonah.   

The monumentalism (is this a word?) of this overtook me.  Ben used his hard-earned Rocket tickets to get an item not for himself but for his brother.  And Ben really thought it through to get an item that could be comforting because his brother is sick.  

The humor yet reality of who Ben is also struck me in this moment- it wasn't a warm fuzzy interaction of Ben talking sweetly and softly to his brother and declaring his love as he presented the gift.  He basically yelled at Jonah and threw something at him.  

But I knew, this was Ben's sweetness so uniquely revealed by our big guy who had such a lonely life for his first 6 years.  This is Ben realizing that he has a brother who he loves and cares about and wants to help make him feel better after having surgery earlier that week.  This is a Ben powering through all his feelings of jealousy because that brother has been ableo to stay home from school all week and is getting extra attention from everyone.  

This is the sweetness of Ben.  What a privilege and honor to be able to observe.  

The added bonus of all this is Jonah has actually attached to this unicorn.  Jonah has never attached to any stuffed animal before.  But this pink girly weird looking thing he is cuddling with and pressing against his face when his throat is really hurting.  I guess Ben really knew what his little brother needed.

Never underestimate these guys!