I have the interesting perspective of parenting 3 typical-developing children and now parenting 2 children with Down syndrome. Many things are the same, but there are, of course, many differences.
One area that is a big difference is the unique bond we as a whole family have developed with our children's teachers and therapists.
With my typical kids, I always had great relationships with their teachers and always felt teary at the end of the school year when it was time to say goodbye. I have tremendous respect for all the teachers we've had for our kids over the years: their hard work and care and concern for all their students is greatly appreciated!
However with my boys with special needs, here are some unique characteristics of the relationship that make the bond a little stronger and personal between us and their special education teachers/therapists:
1. Some of the boys teachers/therapists are with them for years. It is usually never just a 9-12 month stretch. This is great because it allows the teachers/therapists to get to know our boys and allows the boys to really form a trusting relationship with them. But it also makes moving on even harder because it's the relationship has been over a longer period of time.
2. Often the boys' teachers/therapists have to know many details of our boys' lives from medical/health issues to behavioral/emotional issues to family situations since all of these things affect their learning and education. There is really no staying on a surface level with the teachers/therapists of our kiddos with special needs. It's a complete package. Of course, when you share more personal information about your kids and family, you tend to feel closer to the people you share with.
3. I'm not saying I never needed help as a parent to my typical kids, but I know I need a lot more help with my boys with special needs. I am always looking for advice on how to help them learn something or deal with a behavior or handle a particular situation. I owe so much to the boys' teachers/therapists over the years for helping me figure out so many puzzling puzzles the boys presented. Often times it feels like these professionals are co-parenting with us!
So for these reasons, the bond between our kiddos with special needs and their teachers/therapists is unique and strong. These people feel like part of our family. And because people who go into this area are compassionate and wonderful people, they go above and beyond it just being a "job". It's a passion for them and they truly go out of their way and beyond the call of duty to help our kiddos.
All that to say, anytime there has to be a transition or change in our child's "team", it's a heartbreaker for sure.
My hope and prayer is that every teacher and therapist our boys have ever had will have always known how much he or she meant to our WHOLE FAMILY! I have such incredible appreciation and gratitude to these wonderful people who make it their life's work to help our kiddos.
They are truly the "special" in special education!
Interesting excerpt from article regarding the above issues:
https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/learning-disabilities/articles/understanding-concerns-parents-students-disabilities:
School transitions, whether from one level of schooling to another (such as from elementary to middle school) or into a new school (such as after family relocation), are stressful for all families. However, these transitions typically are easier for students without disabilities than for their peers with disabilities (Ysseldyke et al., 2000). Therefore, transitions may raise particular concerns for the parents of students with disabilities. School transitions mean establishing new relationships with principals, teachers, support-service providers, other school personnel, and students and their parents. Parents may feel depressed, pessimistic, and overwhelmed about the need to start all over again with this new cast of characters. These new people will need to be educated about the child’s disability and trained in all pertinent special procedures or equipment. Meanwhile, the child will need to adapt to the new school, new people, and new schedules and routines (Ysseldyke et al.). These changes may be particularly unsettling to a student with a disability who already feels little control over many aspects of his or her life. The accompanying stress may manifest in previously unseen behavioral problems in school or in verbal or somatic expressions of anxiety at home or in school.
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