OUR FINAL TEENAGERS

Since Ben and Jonah are the youngest in our family, these two will be our last run at parenting teenagers.

Ben turned 13 in June, and Jonah turned 13 last Thursday.

What a wild ride it has been so far with this dynamic duo!  

From this:

Arriving at the orphanage, 

Ben at 3 wks old so around 7-15-10

Jonah at birth, 9-14-10

To this:

Ben's 13th birthday, 6-21-23

Jonah’s 13th birthday, 9-14-23

These boys have had many adventures over their 13 years.  

Ben experienced orphanage life for 6 years.  At 18 months, he went through open heart surgery all by himself, no family to comfort and care for him.  Then at 6 years old, he met Andrew and I for the first time.  For one week, we would come visit him at the orphanage for a few hours each day.  At the end of that week, we went before a Lithuanian judge and were ruled to be his family.  We headed to the orphanage and packed up his things from the past 6 years which filled only a grocery big (humbling…)  We loaded him into a taxi and took him to our apartment.  Please remember, he had only known us for 5 days.  He had never lived anywhere except an orphanage or with anyone besides other kids and the orphanage staff.  He had never eaten anything except orphanage food besides candy and treats from orphanage visitors.  He literally trusted us 2 strangers with his life.  And then to top that, after a few more days in Lithuania, we took him on his first airplane ride ever to the US, where EVERYTHING was new to him: people, language, food, living situation, customs.  When I think about the amount of faith this little boy had to survive 6 years watching out for himself and then joining our family who were complete strangers to him, it baffles my mind with how well he has adjusted to everything over the years.  He is my hero- brave and courageous and determined to survive!

We were there for Jonah's birth, and he came to live with us at 3 weeks old.  So a very different experience for Jonah than Ben's experience of joining our family.  Jonah's biggest challenges over the years have been health-related.  He was hospitalized at 6 months old for a very serious case of pneumonia, then again for the same thing at 9 months old.  At 13 months old, he had 5 hour surgery for a kidney/bladder congenital defect.  He experienced complications from this surgery and so his total hospitalization time during all of this was almost 3 weeks!  The next years were spent trying to keep him healthy due to reactive airway disease and frequent ear infections.  Then at 8 years old, Jonah had surgery to remove his thyroid due Grave's disease that wasn't able to be handled by medication.  After surgery he experienced a scary breathing episode coming off the anesthesia.  Then in 2020, kidney/bladder issues reared their ugly head requiring surgery to have a stent and catheter placed.  This catheter was in place for 9 months instead of the planned 2 weeks.  Jonah suffered from several kidney/bladder infections during his surgery recovery time.  It was a rough period for him.  Finally in January 2023, we got the good news that Jonah's left kidney was back to normal size.  What a three year ordeal!  In summer of 2022, Jonah started to have his knee caps slip out of place quite often causing him great pain.  This necessitated him wearing knee braces almost full-time.  Oh and he also got Lyme's disease in the summer of 2021.  And on top of all these health issues, Jonah didn't really start talking using more than 2-3 words until 2020/2021-age 10/11.  He has worked VERY HARD to become verbal.  This kid is also my hero- he is also brave and courageous and determined to survive!

Now in regards to all of these boys' adventures these past 13 years, I'm really hoping and praying that their teenage years are very quiet, boring, and uneventful!  We're older parents, and I don't know if we have the energy anymore to deal with difficult teenagers...

SEVEN IS OUR LUCKY NUMBER THIS YEAR!

 

Boys started 7th grade today!

Thankful for the same beloved teacher and aide from past year, excited for the new special education suite recently added to our school!  How cool our district is investing in ALL of its students.

Interesting to see how Ben has shot up in height over Jonah.

PAWPRINTS ON OUR HEARTS

 

Yesterday our family had to say goodbye to a very cherished and loved member of our family- our dear sweet dog Tucker.

So many emotions we are all feeling right now: grief and pain over him being gone, but gratitude that we had him for almost 16 really good years.

He got our older 3 kids through from childhood to adulthood.  He experienced 15 foster babies in our home.  He welcomed our two boys home through their adoptions.  He was always ready to love us and comfort us if we were sad and play and hang out with us when we were happy.  He was a kind and gentle soul who didn't command attention like some dogs do.  He was just a quiet and constant presence in our lives and in our home.  He will be greatly missed.

We probably have thousands of photos of Tucker.  At some point, I will make a post sharing my favorite Tucker photos.  But these photos are reflecting his last days with us, so that we never forget the privilege we had of loving him through his last moments with us, his family- forever.

This was taken on Monday, 8-28.  Over the past year, Tucker had certainly slowed down.  He no longer could run with Stephen, and sometimes it was hard for him to manuever steps etc.  The past 3 months, we saw even more decline in him because he would move around less and sleep more.  He started skipping one of his 2 daily meals every couple days.  But he was still happy and excited to hang out with us and loved to be cuddled and hugged.  Life was still good for him, just at a slower pace. So on this Monday, he was acting very normal for what we were use to this past year.  We were actually camping with the 2 boys so it was just Stephen and Lydia home with him.

Just like that on Tuesday, 8-29, Lydia called us around lunchtime at the campground and said Tucker was walking funny.  Just a few hours later, she let us know he was not able to move at all- if he tried, he just fell down.  We decided we needed to get home fast.  We packed up and were home by 9 p.m.  This is what we found.  Our poor friend, very larthargic and sleepy.  He hadn't eaten for the past day.  He was still drinking some water.  It was blessing though that he let us lay by him and cuddle and pet him.

After sleeping by his side Tuesday night, we called the vet early 8-30, Wednesday morning to make an appointment.  At the appointment, the vet told us Tucker was most like in kidney failure and had hours-days-week to live.  However, it would only get more uncomfortable and scary for him in the time left because of how sick he was.  We made the very heart-wrenching decision to put him down.    We were all able to say goodbye to him, even Abigail thru FaceTime.  For his final moments, he had Stephen hugging him and Lydia and I holding his paws.  

The following quotes and poems express how our hearts are feeling right now.  We know he was "just a dog", but to us he was part of our family.  He was and is deeply loved and will be deeply missed.

For how this loss if affecting the boys, we are unsure what they are all feeling and understanding.  We are trying to give them information so that they feel included in our grief, but we also don't want to overwhelm them.  We are trying to explain that Tucker got very sick and died while trying to reassure them that getting sick doesn't automatically mean you die.  We are telling them Tucker is in heaven because we are thinking they will never get to cognitive level to understand Biblically about human versus animal souls etc.  It seems to give them comfort and joy to think about Tucker now being with "Beebop" which is Grandma so we are going to give them that.  It also seems like after some initial strong emotions- Jonah sobbing and Ben working hard to get attention- they are now in the "out of sight, out of mind" mode and not really noticing Tucker is gone.  Kids in general seem to go in and out of grief while adults seems to stay more planted in grief for a period of time.  So I'm sure there will be times where they will notice and mourn Tucker's absence.  We are doing our best to understand and respect how our boys process and deal with the pain of losing someone they love.  

ANOTHER GREAT SEASON OF BASEBALL

 

When you belong to a baseball league called the "Miracle League", it's pretty easy to have a great season, right?

We love Miracle League baseball.  The coaches and buddies are super nice and devoted to our kiddos.  The League Commissioner is super organized and truly cares about the kids.  And all the other volunteers like the umpires, announcers, concession stand workers, and the sponsors- 

everyone involved in this organization is a class act!

And our boys are great baseball players!  The "heavy hitter" status continues for both of them, especially Ben.  That kid has power in his hits!

We are so grateful to have Miracle League for our boys.

CUPCAKE THERAPY

When your little brother (by only 3 months and a few inches) is getting extra attention for joining the football team, it can be a rough struggle with the green eyed monster of jealously...

To be noted, Ben has no interest in playing football himself.  Ben doesn't like to be tackled.  Ben enjoys other sports like baseball, basketball skills, and soccer.  So it's not that he wants to play and we aren't letting him.  But what he's having a hard time with is people being excited for Jonah.

So yesterday, I took Ben on a date to try and help him feel special.  We are also letting him have extra video game time to help warm up his thumbs for Esports in the fall.  That is Ben's big interest compared to football.

I took Ben to a cute bakery and coffee shop.  He chose a chocolate cupcake and 1/2 of my donut for his treat.  During our snack, we had a "conversation" about his upcoming school year (he is most excited to eat pizza for school lunch and see his teacher again) and his dream job someday (he wants to work in a ice cream shop).  

After our treat, we went to the beach and he played on a playground and then we took a walk along the harbor walk.    

It was a lot of fun to just dote on Ben and hopefully help him know he is special and unique and very loved!  The way to Ben's heart is definitely through his stomach so I hope it worked!

This photo is from a camping trip but it's such a cute photo of our Big Ben!

 

OPEN ARMS

I think most people like to be welcomed with open arms.  It's not a pleasant experience to be in a new situation and feel like either no one wants you there or doesn't even notice you.

Jonah started youth football this August, playing for the 5-8th grade team.

Jonah, and us as parents, could not be experiencing a more warm welcome to the team!

The coaches are doing everything they can to make Jonah feel part of the team.  They are being totally understanding of what might not work for the little guy, in terms of ability and attention span.  They are super excited and patient to make this work!

Jonah's teammates, who are also his typical classmates at school, are so encouraging and including of Jonah.  They are always offering a fist bump, high five, or "Good Job" to our guy.  It warms my heart to see kids be accepting of kids with differing abilities.  Great job kids (and parents/teachers/coaches for fostering this mindset)!!!!

We are not sure if Jonah will participate in every practice/every game or even the whole season.  We are letting him take the lead on this one because this is not the type of experience where we feel as parents we can push him to stay committed.  The physical and cognitive effort it takes Jonah to participate in regular/non adapted football is HUGE.  We are not going to push him if he doesn't feel comfortable with this.  But so far, he puts in 30-60 minutes of practice where he really tries to do what every other kid is doing and then he tells me "All done"  We are taking this experience day by day, but it's nice knowing Jonah has a bunch of coaches and teammates who want him to keep coming back!

That is pretty special!

Some cute things so far in Jonah's experience on the team:

1. Since we weren't sure if this would work for Jonah to play football, we first suggested to Jonah maybe he would want to be the team manager/water boy.  He emphatically said, "No, PLAY"

2. After his first practice, he told me "Good news, Mom- Green Bay Packers!"  He thought his next move was to that team!

3. Jonah noticed team photos from other years hanging in the equipment shed.  The background on the photos is a rocket blasting off.  For his team picture day today, even though I have tried to explain no, he is quite sure there will be a real live rocket for the team to pose in front of.  This kids lives in the land of eternal hope!

4.  At his first scrimmage last night, because he is very unsure of what he is suppose to do (plus I think has very little peripheral vision with that big helmet on his little head-haha), when the rest of his team took the sidelines to have a break, Jonah just stayed in the middle of the field.  He ended up in the huddle of the next team up to scrimmage.  I don't think he ever noticed he wasn't with the right team until one of our coaches noticed him and got him back to the fold.  

 

GROWING UP DOWN SYNDROME STYLE

 

Ben and Jonah transitioning from boys to men is going to be an interesting process.

With Down syndrome, there is the biological age which tends to parallel typically developing kiddos.   

But then there is cognitive age which tends to lag behind typically developing kiddos.  

For example, our boys are going to be in 7th grade, but their math and reading levels are closer to 2nd grade.  They also play and watch TV shows/movies that would be at the early elementary age level.

NOTE: Of course, cognitive development for Down syndrome is individually based so some kiddos with DS might be farther along than others.  Each person is unique and has his/her own set of abilities and gifts.

So as the boys grow up physically, it will be interesting because cognitively they might still be processing things as a young child.

Case in point:

 This is what Jonah wants for his 13th birthday in September.

Little did he know a REAL shaving kit might be in his very near future...

His eyes got very BIG when I told him that this morning!