I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS...

Jonah is the one with the underwear (it's clean, don't worry!) on his head.  

Words to describe our Jonah- lovable, silly, huggable, sweet, and quirky.  

So as I am going through the now 4 year process of toilet training Jonah, I am telling myself I should have expected this.  Jonah is his own little person, he doesn't always process or respond the way the experts tell me he should.  I knew training him would be more difficult because of his Down syndrome, but I didn't anticipate all the twists and turns the process would take.

Let me summarize the past 4 years of my attempts:

2-5 years old:  Jonah doesn't realize he is wet and/or dirty despite trying many different methods of trying to help him have this awareness.  However, these 3 years help teach him all the steps involved in going to the bathroom- walking to the bathroom, pulling pants down, sitting on toilet, pulling pants up, and washing hands.  

5 years old: Jonah often realizes he is wet and/or dirty and lets me know.  Continuing to expose him to the bathroom process.

6 years old: Jonah is starting to realize when he needs to go!!!  This is the beautiful stage of SELF-INITIATION which is really the ultimate goal of toilet training.  However, for Jonah, this doesn't automatically mean that he is successful in using the toilet.  At 6 years old, we are also dealing with a bit of attitude and not wanting to try new things so he often wants to continue the process in his diaper rather than make all the effort it takes to use the bathroom.  But at least we are continuing to move forward.

A wise person once told me that with Down syndrome, we should expect every skill takes double the time of a typically developing child.  This has pretty much been the case with our Jonah (except speech, we are quite delayed in that area).  If most children train between the ages of 2-3, then a child with Down syndrome will probably train between the ages of 4-6.  I read somewhere that using the bathroom is about a 27 step process.  Kiddos with DS often have to work hard to follow 2-3 step directions.  

All that to say, I am hoping we master toilet training sometime during this 6th year for Jonah.  

Now the reason I am sharing about our toilet training efforts with Jonah is because with Jonah, I should have expected a quirky twist to it.  Jonah, after all, is a crazy goofy little boy.  I mentioned that Jonah is beginning to realize when he has to go.  Well, Jonah is realizing this during the middle of the night!  Yes, you read that right, Jonah is most aware of needing to go potty at about 1-2 am.   He wakes up crying and calling my name and wants to sit on the potty and go.  How can I deny him when we are finally at the most important stage of self-initiation?  I just think its hilarious (yes, I do try and tell myself that as I am woken out of a deep sleep) that Jonah picks the middle of the night to do this.  Funny joke, God!  

I think what is really happening is that for Jonah to be aware he has to go, his bladder has to be really full.  This fullness is probably at its peak during the night.  Jonah goes to bed at 7 pm, often with a dry diaper from before supper even though we try to make him go before bed.  So after 5-6 hours of sleep, I think he wakes up with a very FULL sensation.  

Plus when you think about it, during the night, there are no visual distractions because it's dark, no people around except me, and it's quiet because everyone else is sleeping, and Jonah is in his bed so he is not distracted by playing and moving around.  Middle of the night gives him the ability to totally focus on just this one thing.  That is probably a lot easier for him than during the day when he is bombarded by distractions.  

So if this works, maybe I need to write a book about toilet training in the wee hours of the night- maybe that is how I will make my millions!

The reason I am not mentioning Ben in all this talk about the toilet training process is because Ben was toilet trained at the orphanage.  I think they start very young there- I am not sure why it clicked for Ben at an earlier age than Jonah.  Probably part of it his Ben's ability to understand the process better, but also the orphanage environment might have just forced this upon the little boy, whereas our family setting is not as regimented and demanding.